Life's Chapters

Kodak Moments

2008-12-08T11:48:00.011+08:00

Spot the mermaids? =P

Feeding frenzy

(from bread,buns to chipsmore & pineapple tarts..lol)

All excited to get on the boat

This was taken during our trip to Perhentian Island. Just before the monsoon season started. By hook or by crook we must step on Perhentian Island in the year 2008. Very poyo rite? hehee... Erin and I were darn scared of the sea. It feels like it's gonna engulf you any minute. When others had like one life jacket on, Erin and I had two! One on us, and another for us to hold on to. You know, precaution-just in case one doesn't work. lol... it's the vast open sea for goodness sake! I always have this thought that if you drown in the sea, you'll go really deep down under and no one could find your body. Silly, I know...hahahaa.. it took the rest ages to drag us into the open sea... finally.. =D

These bunch of guys and girls kept each other sane throughout the hectic one year course. We enjoyed each other's company a lot and though we are scattered all over the country, we know we are bound to come across each other in the years to come. We still have many, many years of service. You tend to miss people with the same wave length as you do. You laugh at the same brand of stupid jokes and they are all such a good sport and great fun to be with. We're in touch by the means of facebook, phones, kursus-kursus, and someone even created a blog for us. Thus, all is not lost.

Catching Up

2008-12-04T17:29:00.006+08:00

If you've been reading blogs of fellow Kuchingite, you'll come across posts on several new landmarks in town.

Of course there's The Spring (and I'm only wishing for Burger King and Baskin-Robbins) with an array of outlets to satisfy your pang. There's Sushi King and segalanya lah in here. Cuma masih kekurangan Nandos dan a cinema pending.

There's the Boulevard which is only a stone's throw away from home or in classic traditional Malay way of saying it, tak habis sebatang rokok jaraknya. Easy for me if anytime anyone decide to hangout in Boulevard. =P

People kept telling me that I can sight it from the roadside but this is funny- I still can’t locate where exactly Kamdar is. lol...

As much as these places attract me but first I have lots of movie watching to catch up on. And mostly they're all animations. Well, no one wants to watch Selamat Pagi Cinta with me. Of course I'll be catching Twilight too. hahaa... I am so dragging my lil cousins for Madagascar II...

{ few hours later...}

I finally found Kamdar. hehee.. Got myself the materials that I've looking for and with just the right shade. I'm beaming. Can't wait to get 'em tailored. Hajjah Erina would be green with envy. hehehee...wishing her well. Alhamdulillah, menjadi tetamu Allah di usia yang muda. She'll be leaving for Arafah the day after tomorrow. =) And would have to squeeze in some time to get those Indonesian silk she's been wanting. hmm.. AidilAdha is just around the corner..

Done with Madagascar II. Gave my cousins a treat to Sugarbun as well. =)

Got a date with some of the girls for Twilight tomorrow night. So can't wait. Day after that got a date with Kak Syifa to go order some flowers for her akad nikah and settle a few other stuffs. Okie, this is my first experience being a bridesmaid (zaman tak akil baligh lagi doesn't count, okayh? hehee..). And I'm still a tad bit worried whether what I tailored suits the ocassion. Gabra mengalahkan the bride =P

Tonight am meeting Alie and Diana in Boulevard for some coffee. Will help to get some things off my head for a while at least. Missing Nanie and Hanie. Nak sekeh sekoq2 bila jumpa dorang nie next month. huahahaa..

Ooopss..got to go and get ready.

Toodles!

Happy 5th Birthday LC

2008-12-01T21:00:00.003+08:00

Life's Chapters (LC) was born on Nov 1st 2003.

Since then it had put on 3 different names. Lucky you don't have to do any birth cert for this kinda thing or else people at the registrar would be having a whale of a time having to bear with my idiosyncrasy of being unable to stick to one name for long. =P (no wonder I can't see myself committing to a long term relationship... huahuahuaa)

Staying active all these years was not an easy task. I've missed out a lot in the blogosphere. Friendster (huh?) Facebook (what?) I am that oblivious to my surroundings. hahaa.. well, ignorance is sometimes a bliss (ay?)

Revelation came in the form of my boss who started his first blog few days ago. I was in his office and he was talking about blogs. I didn't know why but my first reaction was to put on a 'dumb' look and nodded to his ideas. Well, my boss is one of those avid users of technology and he trying to keep up with technology's pace is applaudable; however, in our field of work there are more to fix our eyes on other than trying to expose our clients to what are i-Pods(?) and talking about strawberry picking when more than half of our clients know better what is buah puru instead of strawberry. Well, my journey and has just started and I'm trying my best to fit in still. Ain't gonna blab (yet). Lotsa things playing at the back of my mind when it comes to my line of work. hehee.. Patience.. one post at a time.. hehee...

Anyways, I was reading my boss's first post, and here I am trying to make a comeback. =D

I forgot how LC has always been a source of escapism for me. She's been providing me a space all this while. So, I'm back hun!

I'm Home...

2008-11-28T21:09:00.000+08:00

Yeay!!!

Sekolahku.. Syurgaku

2008-03-20T22:26:00.004+08:00

In school on a public holiday. That explains the title for this post. Days and nights are spent in school. I wonder how long before the oomph wears off... heh.

However, it's Maulidur Rasul today. There were activities in store for the whole week. It kicked off with some story telling, sketch and nasyid competition this morning.

This year's Language Week really had me laying hands on almost every event which I thoroughly enjoyed... somehow (?)... hehehee...

We just had our choral speaking recorded yesterday. Of course the recorded one can never beat a live performance but due to logistics constraint that's the only resort that we have. It was like a heavy burden off the chest when the recording was finally done.

At the moment am also poking nose in the debate and drama team. I've never been in the debate nor drama team during school days and here I am exposing my 'hidden talent' (esp. in drama) ibarat membuka pekung di dada. lol... seronok giler these kids seeing their teachers boogieing away.. That song by Doris Day, 'Perhaps' amats sexy... heh.

Next week's the day whereby by we'll play host for 4 days for the Zone Level Language Week. Keeping my fingers crossed tightly so that everything will go well. Script emcee tak sentuh pun lagi... =p In relation to that, the way N and I see it is that'll be our last emceeing. Can't take it anymore. Of course there're some juicy gossips to all that.

Ok,gtg... later!

Light on Lit

2008-02-12T14:38:00.000+08:00

I wonder what's the relevance of having different literature components according to states? Why can't everyone be reading Potato People, Robinson Crusoe, Phantom of The Opera and Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde?

Big bonus being a teacher is you have instant lil bros, sisters and kids. They can be the bundle of joy or a pain in the a**. I enjoy their company nonetheless. As a warden I know I'm frightening to them but when you somehow know they understand the thin line between duties and being a sport, you really appreciate these lil devils. hehee..

I know it's a vague vision at the moment,but I really want to wait and watch the growth of last year's Form 1. They'll be the very first batch I'll be seeing growing under my nose and they're so close to me. Just had a few of them gathering around my table and it was fun laughing hard with them.

I still remember crying because of them. Sleepless nights because of them too. Such an ironic sentiment I have for them. Motherhood signs knocking? hahaa.. God knows. I just pray that they'll be good people. Nice, kind, responsible and everything a teacher would wish for her students.

Hm, sangat jatuh cinta dengan Tattoo by Jordan Sparks. When no one else is around in the staffroom boleh dengar repetitively sampai terbalik...mcm sekarang ini =p

Ringing in my head...

2008-02-09T19:44:00.000+08:00

Is the song Apologize by One Republic. Maybe it's because I've been listening to the song for the past 48 hours when a few of us decided to hit the roads to the northern states. Cool kan? It was a much needed escapism. I've abandoned my blog for about 8 months. I missed writing a lot. I felt my ability to write has gone down the drain. My brain is like an under-utilised tool these days. I've not been feeding it with proper food. I'm so scared I'm turning into those all-talk-and-complaint makciks. Oh well, I'm trying as hard as I can to be a better person. =)

2008 started on a high gear and it has been that since then. I'm still on my Dip.Ed. programme. Due to end this May/June.

Anyways, all work and no play makes Fatihah a dull girl aite. So, that's how the road trip came about. Basically we crossed 6 states in 48 hours. We ate, laughed, drink and make merry. Entertaining each other with our idiosyncrasies. I've forgotten when was the last time i laughed so hard. heheee...

We sang all the song of those days (remember the time when we only had Radio Muzik - stesen muzik anda tralala- to be updated of the music scene). Came back and the first song I downloaded was Antara Gadis by Dinamik. If you want to be all nostalgic about those 90's era go download this song. heh.

We ate at every oppurtunity. Every type of food not found in Besut we jammed it into our poor tummies. heheee...

Driving through the Gerik route we scared ourselves to death (literally) with ghost stories. That's one long winding road to be travelling on at night. We arrived safely in one piece and we're thankful.

However, there was one untoward incident with the Polis Diraja Malaysia. We were told to pull over and one young (undeveloped and absurd looking) police came to check my friend's driving license. It is so clearly stated due in Oct but he 'insist' to saman. Then, he went on to check the road tax and it is so clearly stated due in March yet he said "dah tarikh luput ni". Argh. We all felt like ramming his balls with the door. Lastly, he said "tak boleh memandu guna selipar ni". What the *(^%$##$. Saja cari pasal. Isn't it obvious that they were just looking for extra duit kopi that night? They were basically preying on 'unlucky' drivers. It was past 11pm, and we've been driving for more than 15hours, memang ^$#8$#$, and just because we were ladies in the car. He was asking all the stupid questions.

Come to think of it, can PDRM fine us for any traffic offenses or is it solely JPJ's rights?

Errrr...

2007-06-13T21:00:00.000+08:00

It's been like what (?) Say 3 months?

Been on full swing mode ever since I came back after the March holidays.

In April Mum came over. That was the last time I've seen her and it's mid June now. It feels like ages I've not really talked to my Dad. And I've not seen my Bro for so long. This really spells H-O-M-E-S-I-C-K. And yet me, advising students not to feel homesick. Bluuweek.

Let's see. A quick update.

I'm currently doing my Dip.Ed. That rings for exams, assignments, tutorials, practicum teaching, blablablablaaa... I won't be able to go home every sch holidays which is dreadful enough just to think about it. Have got only the Raya n Chinese New Year hols to go back home.

People have often asked why don't I apply back to my hometown. Of course being nearer to home is nice. Who doesn't want that. Alas, there are a few circumstances that provides inconveniences and well, I love the sch here and the environment, really. Plus I want to really gain/give something and not just 'leave'. I've got nice colleagues around. The staffroom is wireless, and hey how many schs actually provide that huh? Ooppsss, I know I'm very guilty for not updating since the facilities are all around, and busy is a 'lame' excuse but hey, does being dead beat every end of the day counts? hehehee...

Previously I was away on some courses for almost a month and come to think of it, I actually missed sch. My students laughed when I shared it with them this morning.

I’m currently reading Lydia Teh's Honk If You’re Malaysian and finished I Am Muslim by Dina Zaman. Enjoying them just like how I've always enjoyed their anecdotes online. But frankly I've really, really missed out a lot. I also bought a book on Belajar Secara Efektif & Praktikal. Sooooooo cekguuu kan? heheheee...

Oh, my handbag was stolen some time last week. Am very sad over it. Especially the watch my Mum gave me. I had it for 9 years! And it's so difficult to get Crocodile brands nowadays. I told my Mum every single details of the incident except the watch. huhuhuuu... takuuutt... I lost quite a sum but my real regret is the watch. Just so everyone be extra careful, it happened in PKNS Shah Alam surau. They caught the culprits on cctv yet nothing can be done. Before that, planned to engage in movie marathon in Subang, tu pun the mall had a blackout. Missed PoC III and Shrek III. DvD tidak serupa. Malang sungguh...

Let's brush off that memory. Bad one.

There are still lots of paperwork due by next week and July. Lots of activities coming up in the National level too. Teachers better buck up. Public exams are approaching too.

Meanwhile I better get back on track. An assignment on sociology due next week! Hohoho...

p/s:This lady tagged me rupenyer. Tapi tak sempat lah dahling. Sowi. Ahaks.

Mother

2007-03-16T08:39:00.000+08:00

I'm ALWAYS like this...

Each time, I'm about to leave home, I'll definitely get into a poignant frame of mind... Of course I make it a point to come home every now and then and my Mum is coming over too, but still... the thoughts of being away...

My Mum is very understanding about my job, she's especially supportive and make lots of effort to be aware of the circumstances, and I really, really appreciate all of it. That is why I'm driven to provide the best and work hard for my family. If you usually listen to parents pampering their children, I pander to my Mum a lot... heheee...

Anyway, we tried to make the most out of this one week break. I'm glad I was home. I get to meet up with friends and ex-colleagues. Short yet still meaningful. And I've been pestering everyone to pay me a visit this year. heheheee...

Bulan Mei mari Candat Sotong... =)

My Job

2007-03-15T09:44:00.000+08:00

In my last appraisal, I received a comment that my teaching is very student-centered; which was encouraging. Of course there are various other comments I need to improve on, and despite having said that 'wonderful' comment I still don't quite like our HoD. heheheee...

In spite of all the surroundings, I've met several amazing colleagues, I have wonderful students, I am passionate about my job, I love the road my life is taking on, and well, is the calm sea an indication to a looming storm? Let's hope not.

Been there done that, puts me in a slightly better position to provide, and guide my students with what needed to be taken care off. I am very careful not to spoon feed them, nor decide anything for them, but in some sense they had someone to refer to, unlike my younger days I had to do a little struggle on my own in terms of choices especially for my university education. I have lots of interests and was easily swayed and had no one to really explain what I wanted to know. I was thankful nevertheless Allah has given me lots of tips somehow, and this is where I am today.

I enjoy giving students the freedom to choose for themselves. The last project we initiated, I financed them to kick start a small scale business, and all the decision making was done by them. From time to time, they'll come up with reports and seek for my opinion (I kan their investor..hehehe) and well, I'm just proud that their 'business' has flourished. You see, this sort of support is what I meant.

The system I grew up in school did not provide 'official' platform to nurture articulate verbal communication. There were lots of 'unofficial' means of course, eg if you're a debator, prefect, president/chairperson/secretary of so-and-so persatuan/kelab/badan because you will have a chance to stand out in the crowd. What if you were never given the chance? Being a true blood Marian, I'll still say the 'products' of my alma mater are still a pride. <--spoken like a true Marian (read:agak kerek) hehee..

Classroom is the best medium to experiment with different approaches with the students. My priority would of course be to spark their interest for the language. Lots of them can write very well, but in terms of spoken language, there are lots of rooms for improvement. Their confidence level need a BIG boost! hhmmm...I always feel teachers have to dig in deep into the meaning of education and to educate.

I try to come up with creative teaching materials but I often have to stick to the syllabus which is sometimes a restraint. I want to do more reading in class since the new stock of books have arrived and can be used for the lesson. I'm pretty excited with the new stock of books. The students just simply don't read enough. I did plan to make use of the Internet, and I'm still browsing on for suitable blogs to be introduced. I want students to have guts, be critical, expressive and open to discussion. To be aware and find their feet. I do sound like I have high hopes for my students but I am not in any ways demanding. I know what's possible and achieveable. I know the heights they're able to reach for. I try to instill that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I had great schooling years and I hope my students will have it too. Masa study kita study (and I'm one strict&fussy teacher at that) then masa main kita main. I guess after several months, the students I teach have adapted to my style and they've not let me down... so far.

Of course, kids being kids would need a little 'spanking' now and then but that's normal, rite? I am very particular about punctuality and time management and I remember one time I scolded a student for being late to my class, and the day after when I asked them to pass up their files; he inserted a flower in it and a sorry note. Cute ay.

I can go on and on for hours about the various issues revolving around education. Wait. Tak payah education on a whole, what's in the sch itself can keep my brain working around the clock. heheeeee... I just hope the passion doesn't die and I'll be able to be in a position to do more in the future. Majulah Pendidikan untuk Negara. =)

Happy Holidays

2007-03-14T09:24:00.000+08:00

Touched down in Kch last Sunday night...and it's been one happy, happy holiday so far... =)

I had quite a headspin post-flight. The take-off from Langkawi was pretty rough. However, the pilot for the KL-Kch route was great. Thing is, I easily get air-sick(?) so, I'm quite aware to taking-offs and landings. If it's not a smooth departure/arrival it'll affect my head badly. =P

Kudos to AirAsia for departing on time and as a matter a fact, we departed 10mins earlier from Langkawi and boarded the plane almost 30mins earlier in LCCT.

Before coming home, I had a detour to Alor Setar & Langkawi to attend two kenduri, and was dragged to another in Jitra. It was a beautiful ceremony on all occasions, and I've yet to upload pics from my camera. Soon perhaps.

I don't think I'll narrate what I've been up to day-to-day. Suffice to say I've not had the chance to watch any TV. I'm suppose to be on holiday yet at the back of my mind, there are tonnes of errands and pending works accumulating. I'm not complaining though because it's still better to do all the catching ups rather than lazing around. There are still some 'junks' at home that I've not disposed to their rightful possessors-tudung, keropok, serunding, chocs etc. heheee...

We had a little makan-makan in Magenta last night. I so love this place. If I'm giving u a treat to this place means I love you very, very much. lol... It was a post-wedding dinner for Syl. I was not around for her wedding so we decided on this dinner. The best part was desserts were on the house. Food were all great. Tiada kata-kata yang mampu mengungkapkannya... heheheee. I can't remember the names of our main course (read: panjang gile) but for desserts we had apple cinnamon crumble+ice cream, white choc pistachio cheese, and panna cota with slices of peach(+pe ntah sauce) yang memang sedap tak terkira. =D

Sesambil online am looking for good short stories for our school's representatives to the zone level...

And am feeling a slight pang of hunger... hahaa...

I guess it's... Toodles... and I promise to blog more than once a month.

I'll perk up. hehehee... *cross my heart*

I'm Alive!!!

2007-01-16T15:22:00.000+08:00

It's been a very, very long month since school re-opened. I don't feel like I own a blog anymore!! uhuk..uhuk.. I miss writing alas; I can't find a spare time to do so. Sorry to those who bothered to dropped by, and thank you for dropping by. =)

Just as anticipated, I'm involved in several committees and it really beats the hell out of you sometimes. It's only been a month plus. Wait till March arrive and the momentum would have to prevail till at least June. Oh, besides being the advisor for English Language Club, I'm also the advisor for the most unlikely guild-Pergerakan Puteri Islam. hehee... me in white top with PINK skirt??! lol...

On another different issue, a student texted me asking about textbooks and workbooks. I told her that EST unit won't be using textbooks and so far the English Dept does not use textbooks as a teaching aid. We use the literature components of course but we decide to take a more germane approach to teaching in English. I had a few samples of workbook from the supplier but I don't think I'm ordering any. Copies will do for certain exercises.

What with all the issue on workbooks and the new circular etc, I think I'm 99% not gonna order for any EST books. I do agree that there is no point in buying workbooks. Exercise books and photostated copies of exercises suffice. That is another area to be touched on; whereby a teacher has to be granted full access to photocopy services in sch. You can't afford to burden the children with collecting 0.50 each time. I find that some sch are not that generous with their papers and ink. Funding restraints perhaps, there's the PTA and the PPD (District's Education Office), and maybe certain people 'up there' gotta make things easier for people 'down here' too.

When I was teaching Sejarah, I made the kids copy what I wrote on the whiteboard. Boy, do they dread it. Or making their own notes, or read aloud. hahaaa... I find it pointless to photostate or re-write some things that are already in the text book. They can read it in there. Notes have to be from a totally different source. A teacher’s explanation has always to be detailed and elaborate. Students love to listen to you babbling what. hahaa...

Especially am not burdening students with books payment, since EST is only an elective subject and not all will be sitting for the paper for SPM. During the initial meeting I did told our Head of Dept that I plan to empahasise on other areas such as communication, presentation and writing. Will be using more of Internet, lecture hall, newspapers etc. It will still incorporate Science and Tech yet in a different light. Furthermore the Form 5 batch is already learning their science subjects in English since Form 1. I want the students to be aware of their surrounding n to be more equipped in some ways. Mastering the language doesn't not need to use up lots of ink and papers kan? Tak terrer BI banyak, sikit jadi lah, right? Cikgu dia pun bukan terrer sangat pun. hehehee.. cukup makan ajer.. stakat nak paham blogs orang lam bahasa omputih boleh la.. heh. Creative teachings, making classes interesting, observations/appraisals, field works etc. Oh my, what a year this will be... =)

Been to Pengkalan Kubur and Wakaf Che Yeh and did some shopping spree in Kota Bharu. Konon-konon escapism and release tension lah, sudahnya ... pokai! heh. And my homeroom are coming for a lunch spread this Saturday. What I have in mind; daging masak merah, paprik, sambal tomato and fried kuay tiaw. Oh, in our school we have this system called homerooms whereby a teacher act as a caretaker for a group of students of 13-14. So, I'm their mama angkat lah. Anything they will come and refer to us. hehe.. Will blog about these 'children' of mine one day.

Lots of essays and homeworks to mark nieh. huhuu.. There was twice I had to stay back in sch till 7pm trying to catch some datelines. The memo came in late and I had to rush for another course and boy, was that dreadful. 12 hours in sch, stress jek. hehee..

Am excited for the upcoming CNY hols. Will be spending it in PD wif Nanie n Hanny. Then in March will be going over to A.Setar and Langkawi before heading home for a week's break in Kch. Best nyer.. Can't wait. hehee..

Till the next updates, be good boys and girls.. =)

What's been keeping me busy...

2006-12-21T12:14:00.000+08:00

Left-Right
Top: Cornflakes Cookies, Coffee Shortbread, London Almond (I)
Bottom: Almond Cookies, Cheese Cookies, Mama Carrie

Top: London Almond (II), Seaweed Crackers
Bottom: Pineapple Tarts, Melting Moments, Chicken Floss Rolls

Variety of murukus

There you have it. All home made- oh, except the murukus of course, yang itu beli ler. Will start on the cakes today since there are 8 of ours and several other orders. The weekend will be filled with onion, chillies blending, potatoes peeling...yadaa..yadaaa.. No turkey though. Kite orang Malaysia tak makan turkey. Makan ayam-jimat budget. hahahaa... Tunggu post-Christmas pics la nooo... hehee...

Am online to send over some Xmas pics to my lil bro. He may be all macho but I know he's missing all the festivities back home. And we miss that lil brat too. huhuuu…

Oh, my aunt is back from kampong this evening bearing gifts of durians. Wooo hhooo.. Best! With a week to go, now, I really don't feel like going back Besut. *in my dreams*

Well, happy holidays and have fun with all the visitings and pressie exchanges.

Merry Christmas and have a jolly good one!

December Babies

2006-12-15T15:49:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to four striking girls:

Ms. Nanie (15^th)

Ms. Ayesha (15^th)

Cik Lily (16^th)

Cik Dayah (25^th)

Best wishes in all your future undertakings. A year older, a year wiser darlings. May Allah continue to shower His blessings and guidance upon you all. May all your prayers, wishes, and dreams come true.

Nanie, your response to my text last night caused tears to well up. Geee, just didn't realized I missed you n Hani so much. It's only been like... say... 4 months (?) since we last met. I've said it and I'll say it again, that you're the greatest hun. You have no idea how much I owe it up to you- for all the crazy things you did and went thru in the name of friendship. For knocking lots of senses into me at those times sedangkan I yang konon-konon paling mentally stable antara kita kan? =P Words won't do justice to how much you've done. Here's to many, many more great years of sisterhood *cheers*

Ayesha, you're greatly missed here back home. A dear Lumbar gang, a fellow SYDF member, a lovely friend we all miss dearly. Miss your laughter, miss your craziness, miss your platforms. hahahaa... Miss the good old days with you and Shikin around. Dude, finish off your degree quick and pay us a visit, come home doc! (btw, can you still understand Malay? hehehee...) Then, we can save Mr. Ronald McD together...he's still stuck at the window you know. heheee...

Cik Lily, my die-hard fan. lol... This is another future doc that should be finishing her degree asap and start contributing to society so the taxpayers will get what's worth of their cash. hehehee... You're one angel too who never fail to appear at the darker hours of my life, lending never ending support and encouragements. Can't wait to tunggu you reside in Malaysia and 'pau' yr salary which obviously will be higher than mine. =D Claim your birthday pressie in Malaysia... tak kuasa nak pos-pos nieh... oopsss.... redemption valid till 31.12.06 sahaja... =D alaa..don't talk about rindu mak seh, I don't feel like going back to Besut nieh... huhuuu...

Cik Dayah, a friend I can confide in anything. Who shares my ups and downs throughout campus life. My mentor in cookery affairs. Who accepts me as I am, never judging and always lending her shoulders. Persahabatan yang sejati akan membawa kerinduan yang abadi. Sesungguhnya persahabatan tu lebih unggul daripada percintaan, kerana tanpa persahabatan percintaan akan berakhir tetapi tanpa percintaan, persabahatan masih kekal. Semoga persahabatan kita berkekalan sampai bila-bila pun.

Love you all gorgeous!! *hugs and kisses*

December Events

2006-12-15T15:48:00.000+08:00

Selamat Pengantin Baru kepada:

Sabariah Fatin (23^rd)

Nabihah aka Cik Intan (29^th)

Semoga Berbahagia ke anak cucu...

Being smart

2006-12-13T11:19:00.000+08:00

Tackling a 5 year old who's acting much too smart for her age ain't a pleasant challenge. And her ability to change into Indonesia lingo is much too hilarious. I blame this on Bawang Merah, Bawang Putih, currently among the highest rated soap in the country. hehee...

Few days ago the little girl parents reprimanded her and were asking why she scribbles on the walls. And her answer was, "the wall is white just like paper. so, if we can scribble on paper why not the wall?" She was smirking at her own 'smart' defense. Her parents decide to repaint the wall beige. lol...

I bought her fav fruit yesterday and she basically had most of the durian to herself. She has one big appetite for the king of fruit and she loves to tease one of her brothers who dislikes the fruit a lot. She'll sit next to her brother eating the durian, or trying to pin point his lips with her fingers smothered with durian, or lay the durian on his lunch plate. Hahahaaa... purposely creating a brawl.

This other part of the entry has nothing to do with the title of the post. We were doing some Christmas list of menus for the open house. We have 10 cakes in mind at the moment. Tunggu je la pics di-upload. lol.. crazy ay. That's excluding biscuits. Mum has not decided on the final list on that yet. It has to be six types the least sebab a complete set of a tray has 6 jars. Lauk pauk pun belum fikir lagi nieh. I think it would be the normal lemang, fried meehoon, chicken in bamboo, curry, rendang, satay, fried chicken, kachang-ma, mix veggies, jellies etc. Sounds like we're feeding the whole neighbourhood eh? Literally yeah.

We've been doing some shopping these last few days. Keluar pagi balik malam you (hahahaa... padahal brape sangat lah complex kat Kch nieh). It's tiring but nothing beats the smile on your mother's face when she got everything she wants... for free. huhuuu... pokai. Luckily it's nearly pay day. I got myself a new pair of sport's shoes. Semangat nak bersukan. lol... In all the excitements got fined RM20 by DBKU. Chis..hehee.. my own carelessness.

I am a little excited coz there's been a little touch up on the house here n there. heheee...

It's a slightly larger scale of celebration this year. Darn, I wish my Bro is around. Sungguh lupa daratan that boy tak nak balik kampung. I miss that little brat. On our last phone conversation, he even indicated he doesn't want to come home next year. Instead he's asking Mum n Dad to go there. That's quite a good idea in fact. Convocation would be another different story later. =D

I'm not keen on going there though. heheee... I was hoping I could join Siti n her parents for umrah next year, but if the dates chosen doesn't coincide with sch holidays, I have to forego the idea. Takde rezeki nak buat caner kan... uhuk, uhuk...

My babies...

Oh,it's Friday...

2006-12-08T12:51:00.000+08:00

I came across several interesting topic while reading The Muslim Reader these past few days. On the other hand, those would need careful dissections before putting them into writing.

I accompanied my Mum for BMI (Body Mass Index) check ups this morning. It started off with the suggestion by Dr.Saadiah when I had an appointment last Tuesday. I queried about Xenical for my Mum, and the Dr. wants to do a little check up on Mum before prescribing the medicine. It is still considered a new drug in the market as there are still ongoing research on it.

Xenical is an expensive medicine and not all our panels have it. Mum used to purchase them at the pharmacy and take it during her loosing weight scheme. And now since I'm enjoying benefits of panel doctors, she was wondering if she can start on the pills again. However, after checking Mum's BMI and she scored a 32; the Dr. said that her current lifestyle of brisk walking and controlled food suffices. It is natural that as you aged, weight will increase as well. Besides, dependency on Xenical will disrupt vitamins absorption especially those of A, D, E and K. Therefore, the Dr. conclude that my Mum does not the help of any pills.

Well, as a matter a fact, Mum looks ok for her age. People often mistook me as her sister or colleague. And, no, I'm not bothered to be teased I looked older, because I'm proud of my Mum youth-looks. Perhaps it's hereditary. You'll never know. =P

I've been meaning to join my Mum in her exercise routine, alas; it's an on-off thing. One minute I'll be all geared up to be healthy yadaaa, yadaaa.. and the next I'm occupied with some other engagements in the evenings. Hey, we're doing spring cleaning now n I do gardening whenever time permits. That should cover things up a little. Kan? heheee...

There's a dinner appointment tonight with some of the girls and proposed plans to drive through the countryside tomorrow. Ok, not exactly the typical countryside with scenic views; it'll be a mini camel trophy challenge to drive to the borders of Kalimantan. Followed by a picnic of course in one of the rivers. That is if we don't get lost somewhere. lol...

Have a nice weekend you all!

Back to Basic

2006-12-04T21:41:00.000+08:00

Was doing some spring cleaning throughout the day at home and somehow decided to do a little 'spring cleaning' within.

"Knowledge is like sealed treasure houses, the keys of which are inquiry. Inquire, therefore, therein lies the reward for four- the inquirer, the learned, the auditor, and their admirer"

So said the Prophet Muhammad SAW of knowledge and its rewards.

Nevertheless emphasis on the importance of knowledge was revealed through the first surah (Al-Quran, 96:1). Seeking knowledge is a duty incumbent upon each Muslims. We are to seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave and if needed be even to China (sounds familiar?). From knowledge comes understanding. Knowledge when used properly becomes wisdom.

Knowledge increases one's awareness of God and His Attributes, as well as performs acts and favours which will lead one away from being tempted by materials of this world and later excel in the Hereafter. Comprehension will ensure equilibrium in our endeavors.

No one in one's right mind will approve of extremism. Islam foremost stressed on moderation. There is a dire need to educate the Muslim mind. A paradigm shift in ways Islam is taught to our children. Knowledge does not have to be derived from formal learning institution. Vast knowledge is gained from experiences and observations. This is where leadership is by example and whereby actions speak louder than words. Islam is egalitarian and tolerant. The responsibility befalls on each and every Muslim, brothers and sisters alike, to portray the brilliance of Islam.The ummah tread together in the journey of unification.

The universalism of Islam comes into being whenever there is submission to God per se. Islam should not be thought as a term or as a label for a particular group. To be Muslim should be not be like belonging to a tribe, clan or some sort; meaning we should not stay ensnared. Instead, we should think of it as being a certain spiritual disposition, a particular mode of Being. Islam is never exclusive for a particular tribe or race. We enjoy the brotherhood/sisterhood we share yet we are unique individually in retaining permissible culture and tradition and preserving identity.

Centrality and beauty of Islam is Tauhid. The Oneness of Allah as the quintessence. You learned there is nothing more you wish to attain other than His redha in your actions. It has always been between you and Him. The Book has been described as hudan lil muttaqin (guide for the God fearing). However, we must always bear in mind that each recitation is better accompanied by reflection. Whereby, few acts of devotion made with thoroughness and excellence is far better than many acts of devotions that are insincere. However it is never for us to judge, only Him alone has the best knowledge of what's in our hearts and His Grace is bountiful. That said, however, it is required of us to strive for better quality of amal and ibadah as we progress. Remaining stagnant and caught in the mad rush definitely is not a good excuse do dilly dallying behind quest for higher awareness. Do we want to be the last to cross the line?

The concept of tajdid, which is renewal or revival, is as old as Islam; it is not a foreign concept. What is required of Muslims are tajdid in the mindset and within the soul. Life itself is a process of progressive creation. The best of knowledge is one that brings a Muslim closer to Allah. Basics of Islam such as the pillars of Islam and tenets of Iman are the very basic fundamentals that must be internalised in a Muslim.

So, we're talking about walking the talk. To show love and compassion as how He has been merciful to us. That the weight the word jihad carries weight more than a drawn sword. Islam is a way of life. It is a struggle within to be a better person, to make the world a better place, to exercise our obligation as khalifah.

Ameen...

Reference: The Muslim Reader (Darul Arqam, Singapore)

Memories of That Night

2006-12-01T08:01:00.000+08:00

I was onboard KB-KL flight. The airport in Pengkalan Chepa was jam packed with people. Though knowing the hajj season is approaching we still didn't take any precautions that there would a batch of hajj candidates boarding the plane that morning too. My mind was so occupied on pushing myself through the crowd that I forgot my morning papers. And my hand-carry luggage was not easing things up. Siap kena perli by a steward "banyak shopping kak?" lol.. damn. He was good looking and oh well, can you really blame the hormones in me when surrounded by good bargain scarves and other materials? heheheee...

I arrive in LCCT at 10am. Took the bus to KL for some short shopping spree and lunch with a friend. My flight to Kch was scheduled for 5pm. At about 2pm, received another sms saying the flight was furthered delayed to 7.55pm. Fine with me because I was taking my own sweet time.

Later in the evening, while on the way to the airport, received another text; flight delayed to 8.55pm. I was holding myself back from verbally expressing profanities. Fine, went through all the hassle of checking in the luggages etc and waited at the lounge patiently.

There, I met another English language teacher from Kuching. We had quite a time filling each other on the current issues faced by teachers and students-basically our education system today. Being a so much senior counterpart, I definitely gained lots of insight from her. Being among educationists, I think they/we do have worries and aspirations to make our school a better place. To provide for our younger generations. Character building.

Few days ago, at another tea time gathering-with teachers-similar issues were discussed. The direction of the education system is everyone constant worry. Seeing these teachers, I know there are good teachers around who are really passionate about their job. But, are we not walking the talk? Many are aware yet it seems nothing much is done/ has succeeded? Policy-makers?

Over movie few nights ago too, I was sharing some ideas with the girls on what I've planned for the students next year. They were equally ecstatic with what I have in mind. I am very excited because I think I know what can be done for the students to prepare them for the world. hahaaa.. long shot eh, but it'll be worth every try. It'll be a welcomed challenge. And.. I am open to suggestions and am looking for sources to discuss on a more hands on approach in teaching and to implement out of the box initiatives. Well, basically make lessons more interesting.

Eh, initially wanted to kutuk the delay we had tapi dah lari topic dah. hehee... Anyway, I arrived in Kch only at 0030! 5 hours behind schedule. Not that bad.. I know.. I got to know a wonderful teacher and had a nice chat.

Meanwhile, am looking fwd to movie marathons (and more makan-makan). Definitely Cinta is on the list. Some frens watched it and I've got good ratings on the movie so far. One even went to the extent of saying "it's as good as anticipated. not typical malay movie. best malaysian movie... so far. don't forget tissues dude".

Oh well, let's get to the phone n catch some company for tonight. Jom, support the industry! =D

Entity Outlook

2006-11-29T07:48:00.000+08:00

I could choose to write about my appalling delay last Saturday. Bad, bad experience. Especially when you have connecting flights. MAS pleassseeeee review fares for domestic flights. huhuuu...

Or how I've been home for 3 days, and I've not even once sat in front of the square box thingy? heheheee... yes, it's been attending luncheons, teas, and dinners in full swing mode. I've only been away for two months!

I can write a belated b' day wish for the blog. Reminiscing the past, n picturing the future... it's been 3 years of blogging *cheers*

I've been missing my dosage of blog-hoppings...

'Someone' is already querying on updates. heheheee...

But, at the moment I am a little bothered about some things. Gotta channel it somewhere kan?hhmmm...

A student texted me last night telling me about a particular tight spot they're facing in sch. The place where I'm serving is a muslim populated school; in a way, the Chinese and Indians are a minority. It's a boarding sch. So, we have this dilemma pertaining the aurat of muslim and non-muslim girls. Students are expressing dissatisfactions and we simply can't put a non-muslim girl alone in her hostel room. I am still seeking views on this matter. We can resort to darurat situation, but another opinion said we cannot take syariat for granted by resorting to darurat all the time. How eh? =(

Next is what came as a big blow to me. A discovery. I'm not sure if it's appropriate to blog about it since we have so many 'patrol' on the blogsphere. =P Anyway, it's a concern to me. A student told me of another staff who said "a muslim tyrant is still better than a kafir in any way".. OK, maybe I needed clarifications and detailed explanations on why such remark was uttered, BUT... was it even necessary to be mentioned in the first place?? It's such a dodgy attitude and you're expressing your views to unbefitting party (read:a student) which is totally uncalled for. I did not have my chance to have my say because it would be too lengthy to reply by sms. And, I think I would just rather shut up and keep my opinion to myself rather than engaging in a debate with such narrow minded people. Or I can apply Nora's advice "nape pagi-pagi dah buka dewan parlimen nih? heh. erm, perhaps he does not mean any harm and it's an opinion merely on the surface basis" errr..really (?)

Do I sound like I a liberal now? Or I simply prefer moderation...

Maybe I should just remind myself again, that I can't save the world. I'll have to refrain myself from joining in the stage show. Unto each their own. I'll just be a spectator from outside the circle. So long, my responsibility to educate is accomplished. hhmmm... I realised the importance of character building but that's another post altogether.

Oh, where am I now that I manage to have a slot to blog? I've just had breakfast with Mum and am off to run some errands after this.

Have a beautiful day you all. *muahs*

The feasting continues...

2006-11-01T08:43:00.000+08:00

Raya festivity is still ongoing through out this week. The day after I was back, I was slaving myself in the kitchen preparing for our class year-end party cum Raya celebration. Prepared instant nasi himpit, fried noodles, kuah kacang n chicken rendang. My students brought lots of kuih raya, which surprisingly they managed to wolf all down plus all the food I cooked. Rupa-rupanya ada kejadian seludup makanan for the next-door class. hehee... That was a Sunday.

On Monday night we had Raya celebration at the school level for all the students. Had nasi tomato, chicken satay, dalca n ayam masak merah. Enjoyed some performances and had to excuse ourselves early to prepare food for the next day teachers' pot luck. Was so tired out with all the previous cooking, so managed a simple pudding and kuih buah Melaka. Pemalas giler... hahahaaa. Anyway, the other teachers prepared so much food that's able to feed satu kampung. heh. We had spaghetti, soto, nasi goreng, nasi lemak, mee goreng, pelbagai kuih muih, biskut raya, kek, desserts etc; the list goes on. This was on Tuesday.

Last night we attended two open house by our colleagues. BBQ pulak dah. Makan-makan saja aktiviti minggu ni. And more to come. heh.

Today, finals kicked off. And am enjoying my sweet time surfing around and making up for lost time blogging in the past few weeks.

Some pics of the events we had.

Class party Form 1E

Duit Raya session. Look at their grins.

Sambutan Aidilfitri in P*ut*ra Squa*re

Aidilfitri in Kampung Tengah Bakri, Muar

2006-10-28T17:39:00.000+08:00

Sampul Raya '06

Di pagi raya. Getting ready for Aidilfitri prayers. Sempat posing.

Sekembalinya dari masjid. Sesudah ke kubur. Usai bersalam-salaman di pagi raya. Sesi bagi duit raya!!

"Makcik, kira duit raya cukup tak. Ada satu rombongan lagi tak sampai tuh!" Hah, ini tahun, tema hijau.

Beraya di KLCC pula

Balas dendam tak dapat makan di siang hari masa mula-mula sampai. Jalan, makan, makan, jalan, jalan, makan, jalan, makan. Hahahaaa.. takdek keje. Plus, testing digi cam baru =P

Sempat la beraya di Selayang. Yang jauh tu, nasib lah tak dapat duit raya tahun nieh ek. Next time around yea. *wink*

Finally...

2006-10-11T13:39:00.000+08:00

I've arrived safely and settled in well. Still a few more pending stuff to straighten out but everything's ok. Me mind is having temporary blockage. Can't seem to know what to blog.

I just pray n hope everything will go well and smooth.

I'm in touch with Mum on daily basis. In fact every other hour. I miss home badly. But, I guess it's still too early for me to feel otherwise.

When the other teachers heard where am I from, none can imagine why I was ready to be posted this far. They said I should have requested for one nearer to home. I don't mind the location really; I feel that this is a nice place to begin with, but the thoughts of not being able to do stuff (frequently) with your mum sort of... kills you. And the teachers' remarks are not helping (!). Dah lah I memang rindu rumah, dorang pula encourage me to apply back home, kang ada yang buat sungguh ni kang.

On the other hand, students response have been encouraging. I'm already conducting extra classes for Form 1 & 4 after tarawih prayers several times a week! Tiring yes, but I'm equally excited to provide them as much guidance as possible. I guess the momentum is picking up at work.

But still. Transitory mind shut-down.

Stay safe people.

Raya is approaching. I'll be spending my holidays in Muar & KL. =)

Salam Aidilfitri...

@Mango Tree

2006-09-24T09:44:00.000+08:00

Was not in the mood for any updates the whole week. Initially was having difficulty deciding then now am busy running up and down settling some stuffs. But, this one event I must blog.

One of the farewell parties the girls had for me was @Mango Tree. I like the place very much and price of food is very reasonable, portion large, service excellent! They specialised in Thai authentic (when I use the word authentic, they really do justice to the word) cuisine as well as modern platters which are superlicking good. Ah, the place is heavenly.

We had kerabu mangga sort of thing as appetizer, then fried rice with shrimp, pineapple rice, chicken stir fried with chilli, and lamb. For dessert we had this pulut thingy with mango slices. The lamb was two thumbs up. However, if you do go to any Thai restaurants do go for this appetizer that consists of daun kaduk and various condiments. That night they ran out of daun kaduk. Bummer. It's worth the try unless you're allergic to any form or raw veggies.

All in all it was a good night. The children roamed, hopped, jumped, and enjoyed each others company just as we ladies chatted the night away. Boy, I'll miss their company.

How sweet can all these people get? It's not like I'm leaving for good but they're making all the efforts (and excuses) to organize macam-macam. Next are two more parties to attend including a slumber party! As they say, "Any reasons just to celebrate, eat and have parties".

@Mango Tree punya lah excited nak makan, tak snap any photos pun. Gambar mak dara n anak dara je lah yang ada...

Sis Ku Zaina, Farah and I. Needless to elaborate more on who's the only anak dara there :P

Nice ambience ay. Notice the dry chilli on the yellow napkins? It's the size of yr palm! Could have snatch some home to cook ayam masak merah. heheheee...

Happy Ramadhan.

May Allah bless us with Joy & Nur into our life & grant us total Forgiveness, InsyaAllah...

Hoorayyy!??

2006-09-15T17:15:00.000+08:00

Sukacita dimaklumkan penempatan di MR*M Ko*a Puter*, Bes*t. Diminta melapor diri 2/10/2006.

So, I got the offer.

Now, am torn in between.

Picture this:

a) I'm currently in the D*A. Prospect of being an AD before you hit 40 is quite tempting plus many other perks. It's the civil services but it's State. It is not impossible to enter Federal but that would require some time.

b) A teacher attached to MA*A. Possibilities to enter office in later years are there. Or switching career. Plus teaching... it's a noble pursuit.

In both options I would have the chance to further my studies. There's job satisfaction in both choices. Both are my passion, my dream... I think in both jobs I will have equal opportunity to travel (which is what I enjoy), n I will be able to reach the height I eye for, just a matter of which route is faster. Not that it matters much anyway. You will always find ways too to advance in life one way or another. Kan?

I'm just worried about my Mum. I guess this happens when you're the only daughter out of two children. If I were to go off to Terengganu, I hope she'll be fine.

I was advised to decide fast to avoid too much pondering on the 'what if(s), what could have(s)'. InsyaAllah I think I've quite made up my mind and will decide for sure by next week...

Let's hope for the best. Ameen... =)

Kenduri Kendara

2006-09-14T20:42:00.001+08:00

During the previous trip to KL, I was there to attend a wedding reception. The nikah ceremony was held two weeks earlier in Kelantan.

My tasks kicked off with the mission of finding and preparing another set of hantaran. Oh well, orang memberi kita membalas. My fingers are really rough at such delicate work of art. They are just not crafted to be doing such dainty travail. Nevertheless we managed.

The day before the big event was filled with pots and pans boiling and frying away to cater to guests beginning to arrive for the reception. Kalut jangan cakap la. The number of guests we had to attend to? We had to rent the largest bungalow in FRIM to fit them all. Unknowingly we actually rented the place when they filmed Bilik 404 (104?) and another horror flick. Stories that follows memang ada..hehehee... siang pun 'kena' gak =P Nasib badan...

The night of the wedding reception; we were busy preparing the door gifts and bunga telur to be handed out and for the dais. Next day we were up early getting ready. The reception was held in Dewan FRIM. Judging from the number of guests and amount of food served, it was la grandeur. You could just never imagine being understaffed for this kind of event huh. But we did suffer due to the absence of ample helping hands! There were actually already 9 of us! Memang penat giler. I was basically standing up from 11am till 9.30pm, minus the times I was chauffering around. After the main event we had to do some more cleaning up at home while entertaining more guests around. Phheewww. It takes this much work for a wedding ay. Not complaining pun, it was a good experience.

Two days later I was off to Teluk Intan for Majlis Sambutan Israk Mikraj and a kenduri arwah.

My first experience kenduri in the kampung. I woke up in the morning ready to get on the go alas my friend told me to take our own sweet time as works will only commence after the Zohor prayers. I was like “for real?” Will we be in time?

After the noon prayers, we spread some mats under the house and brought everything out such as potatoes, onions, garlic, carrots, etc. We sat down chit chatting while hands constantly at work. It was lots of fun. Of course I was quite blur as they were all speaking Jawo. Heheee... My friend had to act as the translator. With everyone diligently doing their respective tasks, we were set to cook after Asar. They cooked nasi minyak, ayam masak merah, dalca, acar, papadam, salted fish, and all was done before Maghrib! I was amazed.

The night proceeded well, and we packed the leftover food to be taken home by the visitors.

I remembered sleeping soundly till dawn and half-heartedly boarded the bus back to KL.

Hot.FM

2006-09-13T17:54:00.000+08:00

I think this is one fast growing station. More and more of my friends are actually listening to Hot.fm. I'm talking about the non-Malays who are actually tuning in to this station. A change of taste? Perhaps. I hope the station will maintain this success of theirs. When I asked my friends, they all agree upon one thing i.e. Hot.fm plays good selection of songs, repetitive perhaps but that is what your listeners want to listen to. Somehow the feeling is different from listening to a channel that's not yr favourite playing the same songs over and over again would bore you to death. =P

A few other channels such as Sinar, Mix, Light&Easy, IKIM remains my favourite for their concept.

Listening to Farah and Faizal in the morning, and Tini and AG in the evening really takes yr mind off the road (not concentration but boredom wise). They are so lawak esp Farah Fauzana aka Fafau tuh. Bila gelak tak hengat dunia. hehee... really, they are one entertaining bunch of DJs.

Topic pagi ni was on dowries (mas kahwin). Well, didn't get to listen to more callers. I usually arrive office by 7.30am. I understand the things people do in the name of love, but is it necessary to spend that much? By all means if you can afford it do go ahead but there are people of the same stature or better off that do not splurge in such sense anyway.

Personally, I don't mind at all if I'm not presented with any hantaran. And this notion is shared by many of the people that I know, who want to keep things simple. But, then it makes me wonder who then are these people who request for tens of thousands worth of mas kahwin n hantaran.I have nothing against a grand affair, I know it'd be a beautiful one too. It just makes me marvel as most modern ladies nowadays don't go for the berbelas-belas and beribu hantaran thingy. At least not the people I know of kot.

However, to me, a reception is a must, insyaAllah if I have the means to. I do feel that it would be nice though to present your future spouse with some gifts from the heart. Tak perlu berdulang-dulang pun, perhaps the ideal one would be 3 returned by 5 or 5 to 7. Well, different people have different ideas on what's ideal. Tunggu dan lihat saja lah this blog in the next few years, tu pun if I ever get hitched.

Apasal topic nikah kahwin manjang ni?

Here's another one related to marriagehood. heh. During lunch break we visited another colleague's sister who just gave birth to a baby boy. He is just so cute! His nose, his lips, his tiny fingers, oh, I so wanna squeeze them, Babies melt your heart. *sigh* Baik toksah dok berangan ni. =P

And a Happy 48th Birthday to Ummi tersayang today!

Letter to The Editor...

2006-09-12T20:54:00.000+08:00

One touches on car pooling. This is a banal issue. When I drive on the road I do tend to look at the cars around me; how many person are actually on the car. Most cars as we know are occupied by only one which is the driver. Sometimes, I think it's not that people do not want to car pool but there is no one in the office going in the same direction such as my case for example. I do want to car pool but there're none (that I know of so far) that stays nearby. Natijahnya, I'm among the many drivers deemed selfish and needed some change of attitude.

More cars on the road, congestion is a price that we have to pay as we gear towards a developed state/country. Where there’re growths and opportunities, people will crowd. Plus, car loans are so much lither these days with low monthly installments. Once you hit the working world, it's only true-to-life that you would want (or have) to purchase your own car. I've not plan on purchasing one yet, but will be one fine day won't I?

Better roads, improved public transportations; I don't know when can these finally be resolved. I am all for car pooling. Driving to and fro 5 days a week, or it can be 6, is quite tiring. If there was a bus going to my workplace I would have boarded it. That's why I think it's tough to develop a systematic line of public transportation in this capital city. Most private firms are in the town centre, but as for government buildings and offices, we're scattered in the outskirt of city centre. I've never known any bus service that passes by our building. What option do you have other than to drive on your own? Not that it's impossible, it can be done of course because where there's a will there's a way. I mean an effective system for public transports here.

Yesterday I encountered a really massive jam on the way home. Mujur lah I knew of another alternative road. Didn't get to find out what caused the jam as I was still far behind the lines. Over dinner I was telling my Mum that the situations may worsen due to the new mall that will be built in the area. There are two new malls to look fwd to in the next few years. One would be The Spring, a little on the medium and high end concept and also this upcoming Boulevard/Hypermarket/Megamall (I don't know which is true). Whatever it is I hope they'll spruce a better shopping environment for everyone, locals and tourists alike. Tolong lah, it's high time we have at least a Jaya Jusco here. Hey, shopping should be a fun experience, kan?

Dzul's back. Called her during lunch break and set for a date. Talking to this makcik is not helping for both of us are feeling a lil 'homesick' and deprived still. She's a nut case. hehee... can't wait to meet her though.

Tuesday Night spells DHW. Yeay!

I've just realised though I drive everyday to work and spent almost a day in the office, I am not as tired as I was teaching previously. A relief? Quite. Teachers in our country do work hard and they deserve more recognitions and a mega raise. Well, that, altogether is another topic for another post. =D

Suzana@60

2006-09-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

Last Friday night we went for a musical theatre show titled Suzana@60. The show depicts life in the 60s and starred Zul Yahya and Fazura as the main casts. Props used are synonym to the 60s such as the vespa, shiny black bicycle with big tires and distinct bells ringing and of course the Mini Austin. It really does bring back the memories of yesteryears for some of the audiences.

There were at least 4 000 present that night alone. It was a splendid night with renditions from the 60's. Among those performed was Jeffry Din, Fatimah Amin, S.Mariam, Afida ES, Ahmad Jais,L.Ramlee and many, many more .The only song I was familiar with was Yale Yale by M.Ishak. As I watched and sang along (based on the lyrics on screens) I thought of Kak Teh. Simply because in her last posting last week that I read, if I could recall them well, she mentioned about having the knacks for lyrics . And in my thoughts, jealous makcik-makcik nieh kalau tahu. heh. Am still so affected by the whole show that I resort listening to some songs from Alleycats, Black Dog Bone's songs on my mp3 at work. heh.

There were parts where the audience joined in the sing-along, and fighting against urges we only managed some a-go-go and twist steps with our butts glued to the seats.

The show ended at about 11.30pm, and I felt it was a good effort to revive the songs of those eras among the younger (and clueless) generations. My friend purchased the book and we lined up for autographs. By the time we drove out of the Stadium Perpaduan, it was already past midnight. We decided for a late snack and by the time I snuggled under the duvet it was almost 2am. Pejam mata terus tidur tak sedar diri ke Subuh.

Forced myself up to join the girls to some sales and open day in one of the colleges. By noon I was so deprived of a good rest that I skipped bowling practise and usrah. My eyes hurt so much that I don't think I can concentrate aiming for the pins. I did slightly regret not making it to usrah though. Next week insyaAllah.

Sunday was so uneventful I nearly died of boredom. heh. So, I just helped my Mum did some baking and tended the flowers.

Soon, it's Monday already. Di ofis tadi sempat lah melayan sms and calls dari dua tiga makcik di KL nun. Allergic betul ngan soalan "when are you coming down again?" "when are you relocating?" Ingat duit grow on trees ke, or I'm the boss at the office suka suka je bercuti-cuti Malaysia sokmo. heheheee.... Tamo pikir lah, nanti kalau dipikir I gak yang susah hati tak pasal-pasal... =)

What's in my mind...as of now

2006-09-06T20:17:00.000+08:00

The journey to work takes me a good 25mins or so. On certain roads I can still hit 90-100km/hr so it's quite ok. There was once it took me nearly 40mins. It was the Monday rush. We were stuck and slow-moving for about 15mins.

There are several routes to work I can take and they all have equal journey time. There's one particular stretch of road that has many stalls selling kueh and nasi lemak etc. I've never stopped to purchase any yet, but I enjoy the sight of them. Needless to say, they remind me of KL pagi-pagi.

I can now exercise regularly at the Pustaka. There's aerobic sessions there every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, participated by at least 80 ppl. I knew about these sessions long time ago, but since I pass by the place everyday now I might as well make a stop rather than joining in the rush hour at 5pm.Hah, Kak Jade! I am now actually engaging in some energetic physical actions. =P

I dread drivers who do not know how to stick to their respective lanes. Cilok sana, celah sini, causing other vehicle to slow down or put to a halt, lagi la sesak jalan tuh. Cuba ikut lane memasing elok-elok. Yang tak bagi signal tuh lagi nak kena. When in a good mood, I biar je la these drivers overtake, kalau mood ala-ala tak best, jangan harap la nak bagi jalan. heheee...

Last night we watched My Super Ex-Girlfriend. Gila lawak. Stupid movie. It was ok. No-brainer mah. For the first time, I was in a cinema whereby the crowd laughed wholeheartedly... in unison!

The office is quite empty today, some staffs are away preparing for the launchingof the state's own branding.

Oh. Was just wondering why is that some people are extra sensitive when their 'buddies' don't tell them certain things or don't hang out with them that often anymore? Kes merajuk bab macam nie yang maleh nak dengar nieh. Pastu tak puas hati let the steam off by being cocky and sarcastic. Agak bengang lah when you have to deal with such childish sentiment "If you're my friend, what's my favourite colour?". Duh. I don't even know what's the cup size of my best buddies bra. Does that make me any less of a friend to them or vice versa? Thing is, please look at the bigger picture and be realistic. Period.

Ramadhan is less than 3 weeks away! =D

About turning 23

2006-09-06T09:08:00.000+08:00

It's a beautiful morning. Third day in the new building. Am enjoying it so far. I enjoy the view from this floor. I'm still adjusting, getting to know people, banyak departments occupying building nieh.

It's kinda basi to talk about the trips I made last month, now doesn't it? As much as I want to. It was an enjoyable one though. Like always. And I came back feeling more 'homesick' than ever. I don't know why too that I left with a heavier heart this time around. Perhaps it's the fact that I have limited number of holidays a year now thus less frequent trips. It is only wise to know that I have a career to strive for now and I should stay put where I am. I try not to think of the future too much.

I welcomed my 23rd birthday on the 4th with well wishes from people who are dear to me. Friends of childhood days and from my uni years. And a few ex-students.

I for one am BAD with dates. It really touches my heart to know many remembered, friends in and abroad. I do feel bad whenever I forget theirs. =P

I celebrated with some friends who are around last weekend. Dah tua gini pun celebrate lagi. heh. What ever would I do without friends who keep me sane...

As the years passes by, changes takes place. My birthday a year ago was in a different surrounding. It was a week before receiving my scroll. This year's saw some missing and new pieces.

I can't help thinking of the many possibilities. I was once told never to regret any decisions made. I try not to think about it but as only human, there are moments when you'll decided to take a rest from the buck and sit back and let the thoughts flow.

The night before I turned 23, we had a long talk. I still can't make up my mind. The day will come when I have to make the call. Sometimes, I wished it'd be sooner, yet at times I wished it'll never arrive.

23, a figure that once seem so far away. After this, the numbers will just keep rolling and we have much to catch up with. I will try to live a day at a time and I want to be there for my loved ones just as how they've been there for me. May I continue to treasure the friendship of the people around me, to be forgiving and embracing life as it is, that it is not this world I'm living for.

Aaaarrgghhhh...

2006-09-05T17:45:00.000+08:00

Best jek dah prepare posting tapi hilang. Nieh yang frust nieh. Hantu betul.

Esok buat baru!! Ini jam sudah hilang mood. Mau balik and ke panggung. Ladies nite.. (so, I'm cheap, sue me)

P.E.N.A.T.

2006-08-28T10:52:00.000+08:00

Perasaan bercampur baur... still.

Exhausted physically and mentally.

Tapi aku mesti gak prepare postings yang detail bagi mengabadikan trip kali ini. Supaya aku sentiasa ingat yang I'm blessed with friends who truly care, brightens my life and always ensuring me moving forward.

Examination Fever, Independence Day, Mega Sales, Cuti-Cuti Malaysia, Weddings, Convocation

2006-08-09T08:56:00.000+08:00

What with all the celebrations around, August is sure a month filled with gala and festivities.

As of tomorrow:

Kch - Miri - Kch - KL - Kch

Excited? Yes. Can't wait.

That's why I've been working like there's no tomorrow to cover up for the work I'll be leaving behind. Lama giler amik cuti. I deserve the break. heh. Last week, entertained some friend's family members from Alor Setar who are here. Dead beat to the max but I take pleasure in doing so. =D

For the upcoming trips, I will definitely find myself wandering around the neighbouring states. Sementara masih single, jalan lah puas-puas kan? ;)

Have a fun, happy and enjoyable holidays everyone esp to the students and teachers. Take care and stay safe...

Impact on the Soul

2006-08-02T13:18:00.000+08:00

Current favs:

Akhir Rasa Ini-Samson

Terlarut aku dalam kesendirian
Saat aku menyadari tiada lagi dirimu kini

Sampai kapankah aku mampu bertahan
Tetapi aku jalani semua kisah hidupku ini

Tak akan terganti setiap kenangan yang telah terukir
Namun terendap indah dan melekat di hati
Akankah berakhir semua rasa yang telah tercipta
Di dalam benakku dan di dalam asaku

Terlarut aku dalam kesendirian saat aku menyadari
Tiada lagi dirimu kini

Kenangan Yang Terindah-Samson

Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang telah hilang darimu
Yang mampu menyanjungku
Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun
Aku mampu untuk mengenangmu
Darimu
Kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku
Kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah...

I give up on titles =p

2006-07-26T09:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday evening had intensive training for this weekend's volley ball match. Got home way passed Maghrib. 2 hours of rigorous practice. After weeks of playing, your hands don't get bruised or swollen anymore. Trust me. It's the first two rounds of game that swell your hands, after a while you'll get accustomed to the blow.

Time spent playing with the students and teachers in a friendly match make me think of the things I'll miss being a teacher. I love this job. I love these kids. They adore you so much and you love being with them too. Works maybe stressful around admin level n all, but when you go in the class and look at these kids, hilang segala penat lelah. Their success worth all the effort you put in.

We started our semester examinations last Monday.

Why do people like to chew sweets or bubble gum for that matter?

Discipline is one thing. Personally, I don't mind students taking sweets in the class. Strictly sweets only, neither lollipops nor bubble gum. The sight of something sticking out from your face irritates me. Only little kids look cute eating lollipops.

I was just wondering how the students can consume packets after packets of sweets. I'm a sweet tooth myself esp ice creams, chocs, cakes and ice blendeds. Oh, the new mini Cornetto Tiramisu flavour is a must-try.

I don't enjoy soft drinks too even Coke. This reminds me of a friend who is a Coke addict. She has got to have her daily supplement of Coke. She takes them religiously. And she's a health inspection officer!

Back to the sweet story. It's during exams season the intake of sweet seem frequent. Sweet wrappers are torn every 10mins. Maybe they want to avoid falling asleep or they're bored, but imagine when everything is so serene and quiet and the sound of sweet wrappers torn apart is quite disturbing. =P

I do keep Clorets or any other strong mint tablets in my handbag. And they usually take quite a while to finish. They come in handy after a plate of nasi lemak or mee kari.

The school now has wireless connections. Gila best! hahahaaa... =D

Pesta Ibadah Bermula...

2006-07-25T13:29:00.000+08:00

1st Rejab falls on 26th July,2006. =)

It's a beautiful day

2006-07-24T13:49:00.000+08:00

[ringing in my head: Beautiful Sunday-Daniel Boone]

After last night...

Sometimes you need to re-visit the past to find ways to move forward-DZ.

Bersama kesusahan ada kemudahan. Selepas lapar, ada kenyang, selepas haus ada kepuasan, selepas berjaga malam ada tidur lena, selepas sakit ada kesembuhan. Tiap-tiap yang hilang pasti ditemui, dalam kesesatan akan datang petunjuk, dalam kesusahan ada kemudahan, dan selepas kegelapan akan muncul sinar terang.

Jadilah orang-orang yang mudah melupakan kejahatan dan sebaliknya mudah mengingati kebaikan orang lain.

(Petikan La-Tahzan)

Then I got this in my mail today:

HUMAN BEINGS ARE SUCH SMALL CREATURES, AREN'T THEY?
SO DON'T BE TOO WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING,
TREASURE EVERY MOMENT, DO WHAT YOU WISH TO DO.....
BROADEN YOUR VIEW, BROADEN YOUR MIND,
DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE BOTHERING YOU,
DO TREASURE YOUR LOVED ONES, LIVE SAFELY AND PEACEFULLY,
ALWAYS BE HAPPY TO WELCOME THE COMING OF THE NEW Day.......

ENJOY THE SUNSHINE ...
ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS.....

BE POSITIVE BE CONFIDENT!

Oh well, I'm a lady Virgo after all. ;)

And heartiest congratulations to Kak Teh for her big day had arrived. Founder of SentralStation, initiator of many platforms, a mentor, a friend, much admired blogger by many. May you have many more of these accomplishments and bigger days down the road Kak Teh.

Not-so-centered

2006-07-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

I'd usually look forward to trips back there, catching up with friends. This time around I'm not quite sure why the anxious feeling. Some bad vibes. But, my instinct as a rule sucks. My last trip there, I didn't go back to the forbidden zone. My tummy lurches. I think I might even have cold feet (literally). I always do. My hand goes really cold (!) at the prospect of facing edginess. Sound inflated, but I have a faint heart. Next time around I have to spend at least two good days there. Weddings usually excite me but this time I don't quite know the trepidation. The last wedding I attended moved me to tears, and I have a feeling this next one will make we weep. Weddings are always beautiful and what else better to offer but a silent prayer that the couple will embark on a happy life lasting journey together.

"... doakanlah kebahagiaan dia..." I always do. =)

I came across an e-mail from a fellow blogger. She had this to say and I was really grateful to read it again, "There will be days you wake up and move on easily, there will be days when suddenly something triggered some thoughts but whatever it is, emotions are something we shouldn't really entertain sometimes. rather than it be our weakness, work to make it our strengths. like focusing on family and career would benefit no one but you and your close love ones. keep on improving ur self as well. keep on praying... "

I miss her rantings. Maybe it's just the mood swings lately. Works been killing me mentally and weariness get the most of you. With a month's notice handed in, I have to execute some advance works and rush through the limited time frame I have. So many things up my sleeve it cracks me up. Wait till by the end of next month when I jump into what awaits. I'm young; I can still enjoy the adrenaline rush and the pressure that lies ahead. I should learn to take a step at a time. I worry too much... I know. So, I've been reminded by many about this particular weakness of mine, but no one say it like he does. No words touched me more other than his. A decision, a corollary I have to learn to live by, to dedicate life to other pursuits.

I don't have dreams or nightmares, unlike some others, so am I less affected? I appear willful and I still make decisions with all the sensibility I am known for. No one can detect if there's anything wrong (unless if you're reading this now). Of course nothing's wrong. Just feel like blabbing away. I would feel better venting out. Again, it's mainly because of the mounting tension at work and getting things done that's causing this. I'm overdosed with Hot.fm selections too I guess. Light n Easy ain't a better choice either. Neither is Mix.fm. Hits.fm is a no-no too. My mp3 lists are bad, bad for the poor heart too. So, what can I do? I manage to finish a book. Even re-read some books. They all brought flashbacks. I went for a movie. I've been out nursing my emotions with some gastronomic (mis)adventures top with servings of cornettos and vienettas. The almond tiramisu in The Junk was to die for though. Next round must try the pavlova. heheheee... I'm surprised the scale did not detect any extra pounds. Oh, now, I can't wait to indulge in the Mega Sales jalan-jalan and looking forward to some play at the theatre too and more gastronomic advantures. =)

Finally updated the links. heh. Next best option now? Watching Dinotopia. And next week re-runs of DHW Season 2 that I'm so left out on. =D

Day In, Day Out

2006-07-19T11:23:00.000+08:00

Typically, I arrive in school before 7am. Monday my class ends at 3.50pm. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, classes end at 1.30 pm however we're packed with meetings, extra classes, curricular activities stretching our afternoons till 4.30pm or so; and for the past 3 weeks I've been attending volleyball practices 4.30pm till 6pm. The practices are meant for the upcoming state's level match next week to be held in Kota Samarahan. Nervous? Heck I am.

With the (approximately) 30mins drive, I usually arrive home by 6.30pm.

Such a routine. I wonder how I will like my new job later. I've yet to complete the medical check ups and several other documents required. I've not manage to steal any time with all the on-goings in school.

Mum's been baking cheesecakes. Five orders these two days. She specialises in a few varieties so far. I'm so glad I bought her the recipe book for last Mother's day gift. The cheesecakes are to die for and she's baking some every single week. If she's happy, I'm happy. Though her time spent baking would cost me home cooked dinner. =P Jokingly I told Mum we might need another oven and more baking trays by the end of the year. Silap-silap tambah lagi satu fridge. Mana nak station ntah.

She's been making pineapple jam to make some tarts for us to bring over to Miri next month. Time does fly really fast ay, soon it'll be August then September.

Out of boredom and craving I decided to make kuih bakar. There was one time when I could not miss this kuih for breakfast. Hari-hari beli. Below is the simple kuih bakar version. It tasted original. =P

Kuih Bakar

2 egg
6oz sugar (you may substitute it with gula merah)
140g flour
1/2 cup coconut cream (Ideal Milk's Santan flavour is a good alternative)
40ml pandan juice extract (it is always good to use pestle and mortar but the lazy me just blend extra lots of screwpine leaves with some water)

Beat sugar and egg till sugar is dissolved.
Add in flour, coconut cream, pandan extract and mix well.
Pour batter into a baking tin. Sprinkle some sesame seeds on top.
Preheat oven for 3mins at 180°C. Bake for 30-40mins.

Kuah Rojak

½ kg sugar, plus a good dose of gula merah
½ bottle chilli ketchup (di-suggest brand Life)
½ bottle soy sauce (di-suggest brand Tamin)
¼ tin petis udang (guane nak kata nieh? shrimp paste kan belacan? heheee...)

Bring everything to a simmer under a slow fire till you've achieved a desired consistency and thickness.

We used this kuah rojak recipe during one of our attempted business venture in our uni days. It goes great with guava, pineapples, cucumber, watercress, rose apple etc.

I can't find my lab coat for tomorrow's lab work!!! ishk, what if I have more labs works to do in the new job? Where to get a new one? My Bro's one is also missing. Mana lah I campak mine dulu ek.. uhuk...uhuk...

Anyway, I bought some potatoes to finish off the minced beef in the freezer. Should it be Shepard's Pie or Bergedil?

This is a blog belonging to a homosapien of the XX species so you have to pardon all the food discussion. =D

It's bothering to know

2006-07-18T12:08:00.000+08:00

This post I assume is sensitive in some ways. Internet as a widely used medium made me felt it is just something I want to portion out. In no ways am I having any personal gain from this. Just to share with some readers.

Frankly, during poles apart situations, at different times, we have heard these:

◊ A certain individual or organization will receive monetary benefits if he/she/them manages to convert Muslims to Christianity.

◊ A certain individual or organisation will also receive fiscal profit if he/she/them able to convert Christians to Islam.

Shocking? Quite? Not so?

As far that I know, by the very little life experience I've gathered, NONE of the above happened. Not in my surroundings, at least. I've received strings of e-mails, heard enough stories during home groups and usrah meetings. If either of the two sides were in my position to hear what I hear, I'm sure they are quick to snap because none of it is true. Any one can testify to have heard (or even received) substantial of money exchanging hands because you manage to convert people or when you yourself went thru the conversion? First hand information/testimonial? From the horse's mouth itself NOT through the grapevine account. Until there is someone who can testify to this post, those allegations remain unsubstantiated and pretty much groundless.

Why then do we have such accusations around us? You know what the other said is not true about your missionaries/ da'wah so what makes you think what ever 'news' you heard about their side is also true? How to counter all these attacks? Personally I think it is fitnah on both parties; which is a low act of degrading and mortifying.

Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil...

Assistance such as food, drinks, shelter, love, care, aren't we all doing what just needed to be done? Whether it is actually a form of luring, wallahualam. But, I believe whoever works in the name of his/her religion does it with utmost sincerity. Don't you think so? Would you claim to be sincere yet expects worldly rewards?

I beg to stick to the works of hidayah. It is HIS sole charge to give or to take it back from you. Nauzubillah min zalik.

I'm just as sad to hear all the slandering. It shouldn't be when we all claim peace is the goal of humanity. I have no idea what this post may spark. I hope nothing.

I am weak and meek; I may not know things I should be knowing. I humbly apologise if you're hurt in any ways. Please do approach and we'll try to understand our individual reasoning.

I wish you well and be blessed by HIS grace and mercy.

Meanwhile, I'm leaving you with this... heheee...

"I think there's a spy among us....." heheheeee...

Making Choices

2006-07-14T10:17:00.000+08:00

The letter from SP* arrived yesterday. huhuuu...

I'm torn in between two professions I adore equally. I'm not the choosy type see. Thus, every time I manage to nail my applications in various fields is because I DO have interest and passion to succeed in them. Bukan saja-saja apply, thus making it difficult each time to say no at the end of the day.

It is quite easy to develop the love for something I do, that I surprisingly still scored in non-related applications such as finance and even investments. Nanie said I am 'valuable'. To that I 'just had' to texted her saying, "well, I don't seem valuable enough when I was assessed at one of the most critical stage in my life. what happened no one knew the amount of damage it did to my sense of worth". She replied saying "orang Melayu mudah lupa". I kata "kenangan that pahit masakan boleh dilupa". Reading La Tahzan, still, who can help not feeling substandard. Life. Oh well.

All my 'working' life, I've been a teacher. It's been almost 5 years since my first teaching experience.

Option A: In this line of work I will be able to put into practice my degree. Isn't that what every undergraduate dreamt of doing? I enjoyed what I have learnt over the course of 3 years. The travels, the paperworks, projects, are exhilarating even to just think about it.

Option B: Basically, pursue in the education field. The love for the kids.

Both options have their own perks and downsides. Not exactly downsides, sebab what doesn't face obstacles kan?

At the end of the day it is MY call. It's a tough crossroad.

Mum had advised.

He had his say.

InsyaAllah, I'll perform istikharah.

Maybe an opinion or two? =)

Lingo Boon

2006-07-12T13:51:00.000+08:00

The windfall of knowing several dialects is; you'd know if people tengah kutuk you. =P

Undermining your own organization while it is you who needs to push a little further and take that extra mile.

Some people are just plain rude whilst they know nothing about the operation. ssheeesshhh......

For The Soul

2006-07-10T20:14:00.000+08:00

I'm sharing a site that contains one of my personal fav quran recitations; by Sheikh Masyari Rasyid Al-Afaasi. I'm still half way downloading. The other recitations that I enjoy are from Sheikh Saad Said Al-Ghamidi. I just bought his mp3/audio CD recently. =)

Enjoy.

My True Colour

2006-07-06T09:49:00.000+08:00

Your true color is Black!
Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them - your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness - trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle

Well, since I had the time, and it's been a long while since I did any quiz, and it seems my sense of worth needs a lil boosting; so I took this quiz.

In one of the interviews I had this year I had to sit for a personality test too. According to the officer who supervised us; it was to ensure we are placed into the right departments with the right kind of service to be rendered. Last week, I heard the final list of candidates has just been sent to the K.Pengarah for approval. Oh well...

There's a belated Gawai celebration later at 1030. Now, I want to enjoy some yummylicious brunch. There's volleyball practise this afternoon then tonight I'm meeting some of the girls in Chilax. Chilax's juices are marvellous. Perhaps will try to take some pics tonight and upload them esok. =)

Have a nice day y'all.

Snippets of accounts

2006-07-04T21:47:00.000+08:00

The atmosphere is not that conducive to prepare an entry, with Ungu-Demi Waktu playing at the background. hehee... it was some night.

Nevertheless, it has been quite a week (last week). Touching home ground I was met with many pending workload. The night of arrival itself I had to play co-host at a small dinner party in my aunt's. The following night was ex-classmates outing. Following, I had to turn down invites for coffee. I can barely keep my eye lids open by 8pm.

Friday itself was the school's sport's day. I was one of the teachers in charge of the first aid a.k.a. emergency unit. When you thought that not much of excitement could occur, you have dozens of students fainting leading finishing line, blistered feet, all the usual cramps, and one case whereby the student was doing a high jump and slid onto the ground upon landing on the mattress. Ouch!

We had a few comical scenes as well. Among the highlight was of course the 3000m participated by all the geng-geng lembut. They can really swing their booties ay. heh. They have some kind of stamina. Cheering never seems to ceased.

Attentions were also drawn towards the pocho-pocho performance. The pocho-pocho song was also very.......... tempting. heh. Makes you wanna rumba or in its originality... gelek. =P The song was sort of a fusion of dangdut and keroncong. Words alone doesn't do justice to the song and dance.

Am a lil over the budget so have to re-plan some things ahead. There're four more kain to be tailored into kebaya and baju kurung. The previous ones are ready but are not for Raya. I have no resistance when it comes to clothing and scarves. These two remedies I can't shun away. I am one fussy lady when it comes to tailoring what I wear. Either I like it or I won't wear it at all. Well, you have to feel good about your appearance kan? I don't consider this shopping aspect of mine a flaw; I am still thrifty in my spending. E.g. I didn't buy the jubah I set my eyes on since am not planning to wear it anywhere soon yet. =P So much for trying to keep $$$ for the August Mega Sales. Nak ke Kelantan some more. And Baini was already making suggestions to visit Butik Alia. I am pretty tempted to get a jubah from that boutique as the prices quoted by Baini was reasonable.

The escapade was a jiffy no doubt but am glad I made it. It was nice to be surrounded by close friends, and dwindling the aching feeling of being apart for such a long period. In any ways, long distance is definitely not advisable. =)

6 more weeks... Then end of the year break... Still counting...

Maybe there will be some upbeat changes?

Baini is leaving this morning. Took her out for coffee two nights ago to bid her farewell. We tried this new place Patience Daily. Their food portions are humungous! The iced choc was to die for. This is one thing I love about Kuching, the lists of selections for eateries are endless. There is always some places that I've not tried.

News knocking at your door ain't always pleasant. But, I remind myself that I have lots of people who cares as much and I just couldn't be bothered. Heck. There are more to look fwd to.

The workload always seems to be piling. Habis satu ada lagi. Am not complaining, just that I don't have time to blog and I'm missing this form of therapy. Lots of things I want to jot down, but I can't afford the pleasure of spending 1/2hour in front of the pc nowadays. This morning is an exceptional, and yet at the back of my mind, I AM thinking about the marks I am about to key in, I have class in 20mins time and my food is still heating in the oven.

Oh, I'm so looking fwd to the Rainforest Music Festival this weekend. Yeay!

Have a nice day. Toodles.

S.U.R.P.R.I.S.E.

2006-06-23T15:08:00.001+08:00

A bolt from the blue decision. EVERYONE is going to get a great BIG HUG from me...

eerrrrrr.... accept someone who won't be getting it............................... yet. =P

This is killing two birds with one stone or the classic menyelam sambil minum air.

Happy weekend everyone!

F.U.N.

2006-06-19T11:24:00.000+08:00

Usrah on Saturday. Too drained to spend a time outside. Cuddled in and finished the novel I bought earlier on in March. =P

Sunday. Brunch with the girls. Syl is leaving for Lugan Benuk (I have no idea where that place is as well! Must be deep in the remotest areas). I'm so proud of this girl for pursuing the research field as a career. Syl's going to go on an expedition with dolphins. She's going to swim and play with them. How cool is that. She's very passionate about what she does and very knowledgeable about the forest and everything in it too. Get the groove? We've had dozens of tales from this lady with a special gift about them who had subsisted in the forest since eons ago. heheheeee...

After lunch met up with makcik B and F. Later on went to shop for more kain. Was eyeing two, but am having second thoughts about it so decided to sleep on it first. We quenched our thirst at the nearby stalls with a plate of yummy sotong kangkung. I was so thirsty I had two drinks.

We then headed for the beach to watch sunset in Santubong. Packed some sugarcane juice and tidbits from one of the stall by the roadside and strolled onto the beach. It was a pretty sight to behold. Alas, no camera, since the plan came out at the spur of the moment. It was nice just sitting down, lazing around and talking, of the past, present and future; waiting for sunset to arrive. Even the azan we heard sounded extra beautiful in such a serene tranquility. Subhanallah.

We had dinner in Pizza Junction. We just couldn't resist the temptation to try out Chilax (Chill Out & Relax) next door. It was such a cool place. The concepts are based on delectable selection of drinks, finger foods and cakes AND board games! Within two hours we played Buggle (?) and Cluedo. Whheee! I had so much fun. Only arrived home 11.30pm. By the time I'm done freshening up, it was near midnight and I slept soundly till morning.

And today am only going back after 5pm. For the next two weeks actually! huhuhuuu... not complaining, but, clocking in 12 hours daily for a fortnight.. uhuk... uhuk... Am hoping for some changes. Dim wish...

Masa itu Emas

2006-06-16T09:20:00.000+08:00

Works in the not-so-new school is really taxing. Very. These first few days were tough as I tried to adjust to the long working hours. The day kicks off at 5am (belum masuk Subuh pun lagi) and end between 3-5pm daily depending on meetings and other curricular activities (I'm thankful I've quit teaching tuition prior to this). The school is approximately a half-hour journey, so a return trip equals to almost an hour. I know it doesn’t sound far, and there's no jam. I guess the momentum will improve by next week.

Last night was terrible. For the past few days since school started, I only arrive home at about 5pm and hit the sack between 11pm-12am (there were various house chores partially incomplete). Last night was dead beat to the max. I slept right after Maghrib and straight on till the next morning. Mum didn't bother to wake me up sebab I memang dah complained how exhausted it's been. Skipped dinner and missed Isya'. Teruk, kan? =P

However I have enough time to rest, do some lesson planning, and blog! while I'm in school (nieh yg suka sekolah ni). Hey, you can't have everything in the world kan? Most of my lessons are double period since I'm teaching Science. Mostly it'll be one class before and after break, and a single period with another class in between. Big gap kan? School's till late in the afternoon. Oh, I'm teaching Science Form 4 & 5 this time around. I'm not a newcomer, I taught here previously so it's nice to meet the teachers and students again.

There's a hi-tea organised by the Parents Teachers Assoc. later in one of the hotel in town. Mum's been persuading me to try winning the Best Dress title and bring back a hamper. Karut sungguh ibu nih. I told her that the dress code is casual and she said casual tak semstinya tak perlu bergaya. It's not a dinner for goodness sake. heh. We'll see.

Thought of shifting the blog. Again. Then it'll be the third attempt. hhmmm..... =)

Chronic lethargy!

2006-06-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

I am about to do something veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy indiscipline in a while. I'm going to...

SKIP a meeting and a sport's practise. Probably a club meeting I'm not aware of too. Well, it was not stated in the handover notes. =P

heheheheee... spelled as T-E-R-U-K. Jahat nya aku hari ni... dilanda sluggishness yang maximum today.

Sailing through

2006-06-14T11:53:00.000+08:00

Pressure is a little high. Some of the worries are groundless. Mostly, I'd say.

I guess these are post-euphoria feelings. It was a blasting weekend, so here I am now feeling all mellow. It was a great weekend. I had a lot of fun, and I feel at home. Lots of laughter, much words of encouragement, experiences abundantly shared, solace lavishly offered, there were lots of love and great sense of friendship in the air. Ungrateful me...

Nani gave a short call few days back (how come u tak pernah call I Hani? hehee...).

Gorgeous babes

Wackier by the minute

Total retards

I'm a lousy singer. I'll still insist on a number no matter how deafening it'd be to the people around me. It was a crazy night. More so, since the bistro is an open air one and suka hati I hentam ajer. I bet the bistro manager regretted his invite for us to be a regular initially. =D

Sounds like I enjoyed myself a lot now and then. Everyday is packed right up to the weekends, and the week after next, BUT, I just can't seem to stay focus.

Apa pun, I'm glad plans n trips for Aug is confirmed, especially the one with Mum. =D Cuti-Cuti Malaysia! One month of travelling. Yeay! Now, the mood's lighten up.

This world is not my home...

2006-06-08T20:38:00.000+08:00

Got a belated news about another friend's granddad passed away. We attended the tahlil yesterday's evening. Met Raudhah, Aiza n Marini too. After the Isya' prayers we had what are known as 'saprah'. It's a term used by the Malays in Sarawak. 'Saprah' consists of the normal menu of nasi minyak accompanied by chicken curry, daging masak hitam, acar, fruits and drinks; served in a large tray. One 'saprah' feeds four persons.

Receiving a news as such, and ziarah to the deceased family reminds us a lot that the world is but a passing place, not the final resting place, not home. Yet, we tend to make such a fuss over everything and wanting more. We time and again tend to fail to notice the bigger picture. I often wonder what kind of a path I will lead. I know we should take one step after another, day after day but who could help for not thinking about the long-run.

Saturday there will be prayers for my late grandmother in my aunt's place. We're doing our own cooking. I have some dishes to prepare myself. I still miss my grandma a lot. Tapi, sudah ketentuan Illahi for her departure this soon kan.

Seucap janji membuat kita percaya
Secebis kasih membuat kita sayang
Sekecil luka membuat kita kecewa

** What's bitter is medicine - a cure.

Chronicles of Me

2006-06-06T10:36:00.000+08:00

26/5

Teacher's Day Celebration cum Dinner in Rock Road Seafood Restaurant was a blast. Madam Principal said a few kind words that made me felt very encouraged and relieved. =D

28/5-1/6

Aunty Jamaliah and her group from from HKL were in town for a convention. A bustling crowd of 16 people!! Especially Sister Norjan and Kamala. Kecoh tak hengat dunia touring around with them. It was lots of fun entertaining them to some of the town's signature landmarks and spots. I think they've pretty much covered Kuching from North to South.

1/6-4/6

Mak Aji and Pak Aji were in town. Basically everyday is spent with them and bringing them around to their friends' homes. Again, you somehow discovered that so-and-so is related to someone-to-someone. Highlight of the visit was of course the akad nikah ceremony and wedding reception of Kak Suhaila. The whole event was one unique one coz Pakcik Jaafar orang Jawa hailing from Pontianak, Kalimantan and of course it's done in Jawa-style including the food and cakes served time akad nikah. Alhamdulillah, everything went well and it was a touching moment for the bride's family. Topic of course revolves around several upcoming weddings including Kak Hani's in August. Can't wait. Naik sangap dorang tunggu I tak datang-datang (kata Nanie lah, iye Hani?).

From the many visitors I spent time with, other than a satisfied taste bud, I got a scarf, perfume and bracelet, and a box of chocolate. Alhamdulillah, rezeki... =)

5/6

Ambik baju, tempah baju. Let me count. 1,2...3...4... FIVE! Hey, I buat baju kurung and kebaya only for Raya which means once a year, so it’s forgivable. And I've not shopped for almost 4 months. Mak Aji was busy asking me to dress according to the theme colour too. I have one kebaya that's close to the theme in the closet but I can't make up my mind yet.

I for one am someone who likes to do intricate design to my baju kurung and kebaya. My friends understand that part of me very well. Paling koman pun manik lah. This year I ordered sulam for three and teknik cabut for one. Another one manik saja. The teknik cabut design is renowned in Sarawak. In boutiques the price may fetch up to hundreds. Mine is done by a friend's mum so the price was negotiable.

To buy or not to buy jubah? We'll see if the budget allows so. =P

~`~`~`~`~

Am going out for lunch later. Partly to discuss the forthcoming gathering we're organising this Sunday. I finished almost half of my credit due to this event. It better be worth all the efforts. heheee... Talking about organising, I wonder what are the updates on Nisaa' Programmes.. hhmmm... Am a lil tensed with everything at the moment. Somehow, I badly need the change of environment now. uhuk..uhuk..

Mum was talking about a trip down to Miri to visit her brother there. Hooooray! It's so near KK dah kan? Bila la can visit KK lagi ya. It's been more than a decade since we last went to Miri. It sure had changed tremendously.

Better get ready now. Have a nice day peeps!

** Praying for her who's going through it all. And dear lil bro to act as wise. Stay safe.

Mid-Year Reflections...

2006-05-24T10:59:00.000+08:00

Nearly half the year will be gone soon. Each year carries its own recollections.

2006. I had some enjoyable and extended new friendship ties tremendously. To share, to give and love and be loved and cared for in return. Feelings reciprocated are heartening to the soul and mind.

I gained back some things that had gone astray. In which I am reminded that I have so much to be thankful instead of lamenting on one thing I cannot gain. You lost some, you get some.

I was taught that failure is part of the package when I 'signed up' to be in this world. I learnt to give up on things that were not meant to be mine. I became mindful that balance is made up of accomplishment and letdowns. It takes both the sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.

Patience is virtue. I discover that. And some things were not meant to be said. Silence is golden. Sometimes.

We are to live the present and leave the past. Benda yang lepas jangan dikenang, masa hadapan jangan disia. Right?

hhmmm... are melamine wares microwavable? =P

Looking forward to this long break and the events that follow, kicking off Thusday night!

Happy Teacher's Day

2006-05-16T15:47:00.000+08:00

I had quite a time with the students today.

**sidenote: Al-Fatihah untuk arwah Emy. Her presence wil be missed.

Post Mother's Day

2006-05-15T14:41:00.000+08:00

This year's Mother's Day is celebrated at a splendid scale with some family friends. We had dinner at one of the local seafood restaurant last night. There were 23 person present, spouses and children. My Bro texted and called Mum later in the evening and sent Mum beaming coz he remembered.

I'm gonna bake my Mum belated Mother's Day muffins tomorrow, insyaAllah. The weekend was packed with our own list of items and this year I didn't get her any gift. Tak sempat nak cari. So, holding that thought, I paid for our share of last night's dinner. Mum had requested for her favourite Banana & Walnut muffins. Minus frostings. Will only put frostings on the Double Choc muffins. Yummy! So rugi no digi camera yet. Haven't got the time to scout for any.

I've shopped and tailored a few materials. Raya too soon ay. I'm still contemplating whether to save any of it for Raya or will shop for some ready made jubah this year. I am always excited come any festive seasons. A Malaysian at heart. =P

Last week's usrah met Kak Min. What a small world. She's doing her J-Qaf at the moment. I've just realized that, if not teachers, members of the group would be housewives doing their own business. Typical scenario? Most of them are teachers and also having small scale business as side income too. For a tudung and kain freak like me suka amat lah dah tahu mana boleh dapat stock. I don't really go for jewelries, bags or shoes (I do but they come next to nothing) and am rambang mata when it comes to tudung and kain. *sigh* Kronik!

Tomorrow is Teacher's Day! =D

Cater 2 You

2006-05-11T10:20:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since I heard this song. The song's sexy kan? And they are hot. =D

My shoes are here but I can't go and collect them. There's no car available in the morning, and by the time I finish teaching they'd be closed. Or they’re not. Maybe I'll try to merajinkan diri later. Tomorrow's a public holiday anyway.

I don't really like Shakira but her latest Hips Don't Lie, oh, I'm in love with the song. And her body is so... How I wish I can... heheheee... see, belly dancing is something my friends and I've been talking about for some time but unless we're gonna organized one at home, there's no way it's ever gonna be realized. Perhaps we will do it soon. hahaa...

Time does heal. Old ties are rekindled. Reminded that I have principles to adhere to. Insult is something you'd need a whole lot of strength to let pass by. I may have a soft spot, but I'm stubborn and unyielding all the same. Depending on circumstances of course.

I've been postponing cooking sambal tumis for over a week dah. Simply because it's my Mum who prepares dinner, and my lunch is prepared in advance or I'll keep it simple. Partly because I think I'd be the only one enjoying it. Oh, I can send some to my aunt's place.

Yesterday the discipline board had a meeting. In the capacity as a form teacher I am automatically in the committee too. The newspapers lately have been publishing lots of articles, letters to the editor, with regards to the country's education system, teachers' disciplinary rights, etc. One point I gathered at the meeting that's so true is every time a student is expelled, we failed in our profession. We fall short to see to our amanah. We can talk till the cows come home and we're still not done.

Yesterday, I managed to 'save' a student of mine. He had been suspended once, and though rowdy personally I feel he's quite a respectful boy. So to charge him with an accusation that would result in him being suspended again is something I can't bear. I slyly told the 'prosecutor' I'd take the matters into my hand and confronted the Afternoon Supervisor (hehe...); of course earlier on I had asked the student what actually happened. He related to me the incident and I understood why he did what he did.

Thing is, like I've said this school population is 95% Chinese. Most of the students are boisterous and can't master Bahasa Melayu, and unable to defend themselves. So yesterday, I was talking to the boy in my Mum’s dialect which is Hakka. My heart reaches out to this group of boys sometimes. There are those who are bad, but if they're being advised and told properly I'm sure they'd improved. Thing is when they go and see the Admins and interrogation begins, they converse in Bahasa Melayu whereby it's like finding a needle in a stack of hay, mencurah air atas daun keladi.

As I type this, and think what happened yesterday, I really wish I'd be able to make use of my minimal knowledge of the various Chinese dialects to communicate with these unfortunate students. To be posted to the right school. To cater to the needs.

Today is another day...

It's raining cats and dogs!

2006-05-09T11:00:00.000+08:00

Such a gloomy day outside.

The sky's dark. The wind's howling. Scary.

I have no idea on what to get for Mother's Day. Moments like this I miss Bro's presence. Every year during special occasions, both of us would share the expenses and ideas on what to get for our parents. He remembers mine and I remember his. =)

Thought of asking Lin if their place has any special arrangements for Mother's Day.

Another day in school today. At least the pouring rain would hinder any intentions of truancy. =P

It's A Small World Afterall

2006-05-08T08:51:00.000+08:00

It's a small world we lived in. Somehow, people you've only merely shared a nod with in the past turns out to be the people you'll be working closely to. Someone you knew is also suddenly your friend's friend partner. You found out one of the blog you frequent is a close friend to a good friend of yours too.

Though getting to know just merely a handful of people can seem to be quite an adventure for me in the past. That's another episode altogether. Still is now but I take them on a good stride. Can cut the chase. The cat is after all out of the bag dah, kan?

I remember one particular complain I made to Nani about bumping into people from my hometown. Yeah, excessive surge. Someone, somewhere, at the oddest location, there's bound to be at least TWO meetings. Or more. Eg during my last trip there, on my way back, bumped into one of my ex-students at the cashier in Eraman's.

Forget that. It's not that. I'm just amazed with the experiences I've gained during the weekend. Just few days ago, old ties were rekindled. Alhamdulillah. I was again reminded that friends are the ones that makes life worthwhile living. And for them to think of you likewise is really something.

During last Thursday's Forum Perdana, the topic discussed was Kawan atau Teman (Friend or Companion)? Points were taken from the stories about Rasulullah and the sahabat. And on this week's kuliyyah, topics on neighbours were discussed.

"Tidak sempurna iman seseorang sehingga dia mencintai saudaranya sepertimana dia mencintai dirinya sendiri"

Love your neighbour as you love thyself. According to Islam, those classified as neighbours are the 40 houses each to your left and right. Do we even know the neighbour who's situated 5 doors down ours? It was self-reflection time.

We aren't rich nor influential people. But, anywhere possible we try our best to give accordingly. I've received much, and I feel that it is only right I play a part of giving too.

I managed to call Ma last Friday. =) I have deep admiration for this lady.

Sunday spent the day in UNIMAS and meeting a new friend Nh.

Am gonna meet Bn and run some errands before the sch hours starts.

The Feelings I Dread

2006-05-04T12:05:00.000+08:00

On normal days I would usually maintain being poised. Lots and lots of patience. There are certain hours of the day that I simply turned into a lioness (?). Tuesday and Wednesday has been hard. Fh as usual pops out the "how was school?" Q & A but I just said everything was ok. I didn't felt like droning about the students and preferred to talk about something else.

I love my job. It's just that sometimes you feel so feeble when you can't reach out to certain students. They just won't listen. They are so stubborn and won't budge from being pigheaded. They are just not interested to study. And I am mad. Mad at them, myself, the system (?). Yes, I know there's nothing much to do now, but such feeling of helplessness sucks.

I had quite a frenzy situation yesterday. I know sometimes I display my annoyance rather openly but when I had student giving me the "aren't you scared the parents would come?" or "I never thought you're that garang" remark; somehow I felt maybe I did went overboard. But I can't just pretend I'm ok with such rabble-rouser. I have a choice of closing one eye and save me from lots of heartache or living and having to feel so ineffective being in the profession. I dread the choices I have to make daily when reprimanding these kind of students. It bugs me the whole night through.

I'm drained inside out daily. I love what I'm doing though. I just pray that all is well.

A Little Mischief

2006-05-02T16:56:00.001+08:00

The school organized a prefects' camp during the weekend. I was on the night shift duty on the first day which is Friday and got home at 0130. My shift was supposed to end at 1130. There's an interesting story to it.

The camp was a good opportunity to be closer to the students. I'm teaching 8 out of the 10 Form 1 classes so I knew most of the prefects who are on probation. It was a wonderful experience mingling with them. Missed the old days. I told Fh that coming together with the students at events like this made me realized how much I enjoy being a teacher. To be there, to sit down and chat, melayan peel buruk dorang, sembang with other teachers; as an activity out of the normal working hours is when everybody's letting their hair down.

Back to the story.

It was approaching midnight so I decided to leave too. Then there's these two senior prefects konon-konon nak escort me to my car lah. We sat down, listened to the radio and chat for a while more. Suddenly the both of them said they wanted to go home (most of the students and teachers' house are nearby the school). I said ok. They were shocked as it was like a wish coming true. They wanted to get their handphones. Unfortunately the guard on duty that night was the strict one. Still we braved it. The both of them had to bend hard against the seats of my car. They had to really ducked down to avoid being seen. Lepas. Coming in is another thing later, but still I let the worrisome thought passed. Their houses were less than two mins drive away.

Along the way, they still couldn't believed I can be such a good sport. Am I? heheheee... I merely told them I was a student once myself, so I guess what harm can come out of handphones right?

After mission was accomplished, we headed back to school. I had cold feet but played it cool. I didn't even dare to wave to the guard as I made my entrance. Takut seh. hahahaaa... and I knew in order to avoid suspicion I cannot just drive out again. I had to linger on for at least an hour or two.

After supervising the students to bed, lights off, thank goodness our Students' Affairs Senior Assistant wants to go back, so I trailed her car to the gate. I knew the pakcik guard was eyeing my car suspiciously whilst unlocking the padlock.

It was an adventure nonetheless. A little mischief.

On Saturday, I dropped by the school again to watch the Explorace. The students were pestering me to stay on for the BBQ alas, I already have plans for the evening with the girls. The kids had quite a time teasing me each time I was busy texting on my phone. Fh was at the hospital visiting a friend and has a birthday party to attend later in the evening too. I think ini lah tempoh yang paling lama we've not been talking due to the very long hours put at work.

On Labour's Day, most of Hotlink's user got a bundle of a thousand smses that must be finished by midnight. It was W.A.R. For the record, I spend 594 smses at the stroke of midnight. Nasib baik Fh is not a Hotlink subscriber. heheheee...

I didn't jammed my fingers nor my phone as predicted by some really mean people. heheheee...

Alhamdulillah, I'm back to good terms with Nr now. It meant a whole lot to be talking to her again. We made use of the sms bundle to catch up on stuff we've been missing for over a year. All I can say is I'm very, very thankful to get her friendship back.

Of Buddies...

2006-04-28T11:37:00.000+08:00

It's always bracing to hear from your buddies.

Biarpun ada yang decide to start it with some lawak bodoh (yes you hun!). Free-free you kena maki I, bukan semua orang dapat tau. =P

Was in touch with some buddies from uni days, and yes, it's nice to know of their updates. At least I know they're alive and kicking.

Things got me thinking. Break-ups are tough. Not just for the said couples but also the people around them. I'm sure each and every one of us has been the friends to the one who dump and the ones who got dumped. Either way we usually stick up for our pals. There maybe either empathy or wrath for the other party, but still the one dearest to us would be our own friends.

I was just thinking that it IS a very difficult subject. There really isn't a definite yes or no. Actions, decisions can be justified in many ways. Reasoning is always available no matter how illogical it may seem.

There's no right way of doing it. There maybe some unwritten rules on how to lay matters on the table but still, a needle or a blade, it will still hurt somehow.

Than again, what is the world without hurdles kan?

At career paths, partners, faith, family, friends, as long we tread on the journey of life, key decisions are bound to be made on the expenses of some opportunity cost.

Weekend is here. Yeay! Wait for some interesting posts next week!

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Self-confessed Addict

2006-04-26T09:22:00.000+08:00

Back from school is dashing to the dinner table and then slouch on the couch. My Mum and I don't eat out anymore instead we tapau-ed so that we won't miss our favourite show. The show kicks off at 7pm with a Mandarin soap, The Mischievous Princess. On different nights would be lots and lots of comedy such as My Wife & Kids, Still Standing, King of Queens and the likes of it, Charmed, Desperate Housewives, Judging Amy, Less Than Perfect, and then the various talkshows especially on Thursday there's Forum Perdana and Hijrah Remaja. All of a sudden I'm hooked on this little square box. Well, who can blame all the good line-ups? I gave up following Grey's Anatomy, The O.C., North Shore, Kingdom Hospital, Smallville (?). I just can't cope. Day or night it would be MTV when there's nothing else to watch. =D

Yesterday something really funny happened in school. We had to cancel assembly due to the pouring rain. So form teachers had to sit in their respective classes. I was at my desk preparing for the oral tests when there was a sudden clamor in class with some laughing and shrieking. I knew where that coming was because previously I noticed some boys trying to jet down a lizard. Why spoil the fun since the rain was so heavy and a little uproar once in a while is ok to me.

I got up and walked towards the only boy who dares to hold lizard. Using my veto power I brushed the boy aside and grab the lizard (both tail and body) with my bare hands. And this boy, Albert is one of the big bullies in class, so I grab him by the shirt trying to put the lizard's body into his shirt. He was scared stiff and was panicky trying to rid off the lizard. I had quite a time maintaining a straight face while the others were giggling away. There were even suara-suara sumbang exclaiming, "Masuk kat hidung dia cikgu!" heheheee... I am mean. The lizard didn't go in his shirt; I dropped it on his shoulder je. See who's the big bully now ay? =P

The whole mess was amusing in a way. I took the lizard's tail and put it in front of me. I warned the class to sit down quietly or else they’ll find the tail on their table. It was then like the angel of death swept by. Then I can afford a smile and thought to myself, this is the only time I've seen them behaving like some 13 year olds. Before this semua nak tunjuk macho n hebat, dengan cicak pun cuak.. heheee.. kantoi big time ngan I.

I knew the class was surprised with my spontaneous act. I bet they didn't see that coming nor ever expected a young lady to be that disgusting. =P I held a cicak for goodness sake. At times these kids get on my nerves, but altogether they craft comical scenes at times and brighten my days.

All my life I think the only creature I cannot handle are leeches. I don't mind holding them but I hate them. Three years being in and out the forest, ALHAMDULILLAH I've never been bitten by one. I took every possible measures to avoid a meeting with one, including never parting with tight and thick socks, and even taking bath with sabun serai wangi (Pelargonium citrosum). Lintah or pacat nieh creepy lah sebab they suck blood.

I had a great weekend last week, and insyaAllah am looking forward to another dinner date this weekend. At a favourite place of mine. Yummy!

Oh, there's this new mini mart opened in the neighbourhood and they are selling imported chocs at a rather slashed price. I think it's because the owner got them from Labuan and the price are so much more attractive compared to the ones you get at the airport. Now, that's another craving satisfied. =D

Another month to go before I end this teaching stint. hhmmm...

** Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days...

In my well...

2006-04-19T10:50:00.000+08:00

Is it unrealistic to wish for someone who's capable to sweep me off my feet? I don't want to be an idealistic but it seemed I tend to (is that bad?). An assurance is that when you take that sit, it is not for the reason that of having to fill the void but because you've added value to my life and you've taught me things I never knew existed. No any papers would do it justice then.

It's tough to finally have someone you're able to look up to. Is it any different from admiration and liking? Baini wrote in her blog that falling in love needs NO particular reason. You can do a list of ticks of what he has and still the sparks are not quite there. It happens when it happens. It's not the thing of the mind, but of the heart. A feeling, only felt.

Needing no reason to fall in love... hhmmm... Maybe a sudip kayu? I have no reason to fall for a sudip kayu. heh.

I'm afraid it will spell out as betrayal. Hani told me to avoid perfidy in any possible ways. No matter how minor and unavoidable it may be. I know I can do this given the time.

I once love with my heart. Now I'm not quite sure I'm willing to risk it all again. Nothing, it's just that I feel it's really taxing for the mind and soul. It's tiring. That's all.

One day when you have access to this blog, please understand that these are just ramblings of the past. It does not necessarily reflect present time. It is one of those time me needing to go down my well for some emotional housecleaning.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Me lunch me cook lasagna today. Yummy. My second time at it. Am at cooking spree. Last weekend baked two cheesecakes for tea time at my aunt's. She even went to the extent of preparing some bbq too for the evening.

Was browsing through Friendster and I saw all the pics my bro took. He's enjoying himself tremendously there. I'm glad I gave him my camera. Under his list of people he wishes to meet were our parents, myself and my late grandma. *sigh* I miss that brat! Though we just called him two days ago. I'm always amused with his sense and idea of humour. =D

I want to watch GUBRA. Who to drag?

I guess I'll drag Farrah n Baini out this weekend. Been two weeks since we last hang out. I'm still determined to try the new Southern Indian Restaurant. =D

I have cravings for many things. Ice-creams, yoghurts, raisins, chocs, everything! My mum has gone on a diet, and back to her exercise routine. I weight myself constantly too considering my eating habits lately and yet again last night, "aahhh, maintain..." thus tak perlu lah exercise dulu. *excuses* Tunggu la dah tua then regret. =P

(note:seterusnya ini adalah luahan rasa marah, bukan bangga mahupun terharu)

I'm thankful I'm teaching the lower secondary at this particular school. These older students simply do not have any manners to egg on their teachers. Biadap. Of course they won't do much beyond the whistles, monkey-acts and stupid endearments but still... *sigh* the things teachers have to face daily.

** Thankful...

Kids...

2006-04-17T10:55:00.000+08:00

We are in the midst of beautifying the class. We re-do the time tables, duty rooster, and filling up the notice boards with articles. All the usual normal stuffs you do.

One day, a student of mine approached me and told me that L had brought some paint to school as the both of them planned to re-paint the walls. I was pleasantly surprised with L's generosity as I was still waiting for my next pay-check to purchase some paints.

I went in the class to have a look at the paint n the both of them innocently showed me a really small bottle of white paint. I was speechless. I tried to hide my (surprised) feelings and asked them, "well, did you bring any brush?" and they produced one of those tiny brush you used in painting classes. I still managed to hide my daze reaction pretty well, and simply said I'll bring a larger brush then we start painting the walls. I smiled and they seemed so pleased that I was in a way appreciative of their efforts.

I do. And by what had happened there're many lessons to be learnt. How green these young minds are actually. Some of them proved to be smarter for kids their age and some are just still learning. It is something to not discriminate or judge people. To paint a vast amount of wall with a bottle of paint and a mini brush. I'm amusingly startled truly. The way I see it is how a teacher respond to her surroundings can pretty much affect the students' self-esteem and mindset. It takes a certain amount of wisdom and familiarity to handle daily occurrence in school. I'm not implying I'm smart nor good around kids, I do make mistakes and slight misjudgments; I learnt not to regret too much and bounce back an experience richer.

I think there's much to be learnt. Not to have regrets. Not to be bothered as some things are indeed better left unsaid. To forgive and to love. To appreciate. To be thankful. That life is short and it is not the wealth of this world that we are after. That women are like waves. There are certain moments. There are ups and downs in life. Embrace happiness when it has finally arrived. Sharing with those who are willing to give and receive and values them.

Here are some pics from the kenduri last Saturday night. The food were yummy!! When will I hold one for my own child ay? =P huhuuu... berangan..

Mya Hanna and her Mak Ngah. Turut menyibuk is Ammar yang nakal (hensem la mamat nih)

Joyahs in session

The Veil

2006-04-13T14:22:00.000+08:00

They say, "Oh, poor girl, you're so beautiful you know"

It's a shame that you cover up your beauty so."

She just smiles and graciously responds reassuringly,

"This beauty that I have is just one simple part of me.

This body that I have, no stranger has the right to see.

These long clothes, this shawl I wear, ensure my modesty.

Faith is more essential than fashion, wouldn't you agree?"

This hijab,

This mark of piety,

Is an act of faith, a symbol,

For all the world to see.

A simple cloth, to protect her dignity.

So lift the veil from your heart to see the heart of purity.

They tell her, "Girl, don't you know this is the West and you are free?

You don't need to be oppressed, ashamed of your femininity."

She just shakes her head and she speaks so assuredly,

"See the bill-boards and the magazines that line the check-out isles,with their phony painted faces and their air-brushed smiles?

Well their sheer clothes and low cut gowns they are really not for me.

You call it freedom, I call it anarchy."

This hijab,

This mark of piety,

Is an act of faith, a symbol,

For all the world to see.

A simple cloth, to protect her dignity.

So lift the veil from your heart to see the heart of purity.

Lift the veil from your heart and seek the heart of purity.

-Dawud Wharnsby Ali-

What Did I Do Today...

2006-04-12T10:12:00.000+08:00

Oh the moon has come, the day is done,
the night has covered up the sun,
I have stood so often before you to pray,
but I wonder Allah, tell me, what did I do today?
Did I remember the words of Al-Fatihah?
Did I take time to thank you for all that I have?
Did I call on you to guide my way?
Tell me what did I do today?

I have whispered to you as I made Ru'ku
Subhana Rabey'yal Adheem.
But was my faith bright or grey?
Oh Allah, tell me, what did I do today?
Did I smile at my brother?
Was I kind to my Mother?
Did I teach another something I know?
Or did my love of this world lead me astray?
Tell me what did I do today?

Sami Allah hu liman hamida
Rabbana Lakal Hamd.
Sami Allah hu liman hamida
Rabbana Lakal Hamd.

Though I've bowed to you with my face in the dust,
Subhana Raby'yal a'la.
The blessings you give I could never repay.
Oh Allah, tell me, what did I do today?
Did I use my time?
Did I use my mind?
If I search my heart what will I find?
The light of your guidance is a glimmering ray,
Tell me, what did I do today?
Oh Allah, Tell me what did I do today?

Among my all-time favourite. Beautiful lyrics kan? He's a singer of many lovely nasheeds.

Get a sample of its flash here.

May I suggest Kau Kekasihku by Anis Ayuni for a good BM read. I won't say her novels are great, the storyline is pretty so-so, but she still managed to keep some suspense for her readers. All I knew I was keen on arriving the final page. In between all the cookings and preparations yesterday, I'd flipped through its pages and Dad giving me stares. heheee... It was pure satisfaction reading good novels. I've read all her novels, not all are recommended, and my other favourite is Gemersik Kalbu.

And visit here for some good bargains.

Have a nice day all...

Salam Maulidur Rasul

2006-04-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

Me trying to do a review on Rasulullah's sirah won't do justice to all the great things he has done. I enjoyed sirah presented on IKIM.fm, and am continuing enjoying the night as they played lots of songs from past years especially from Raihan and Hijjaz and Dawud Wharnsby Ali.

Selawat dan salam ke atas Rasulullah, semoga kita beroleh syafaat baginda dengan cara mengikuti ajaran al-Quran dan as-Sunnah.

~'~'~'~'~'~

I've just finished preparing the crossword puzzle for Form 1 & 2 for the upcoming Language's Month. After this I have to set papers for History and Bahasa Melayu. Actually despite how tiring it is, I kinda like the exams season. I enjoy the preparations involved right up to keying in marks. It's quite rousing. heheee... no, I don't get comfort from the thought of torturing students by setting tough questions, but it's just... a thrill somehow.

During class tadi, a student out of the blue sang Bunga Bunga Cinta by Misha Omar (we were learning the sajak Negeri Cinta-the love for our country Malaysia, nice poem). Am now wondering whether I should get the class to have some karaoke sessions. BM songs only, since I’m teaching BM. In a school where I taught English last year, we did do some singing-pop songs lagi. hahaaa... though I love singing as much, I don't dare to start teaching syair yet, because I think I've lost the skills. hahahaaa... I don't think I can lagukan the syair properly, and some of the stanzas are long (!). And how do I get the students to participate, confirm sorang pun tak nak volunteer. But, I will have to cover them somehow kan?

I thought of entering a contest or sort and texted a friend who has got some foundation about it. It goes something like:

Me: hey N, blablablaaa...
N: hi. blablablaa...been busy lately...blablablaa...serious? what are you going to blablaaa... cinta terhalang (forbidden love)? kidding, don't take it seriously. so, blablablaaa...

No one has brought this up for a long, long time.

Well, I didn't thought it'd still affect me so.

Anyways, it could have made a storyline but how boring will that be? V.E.R.Y... V-E-R-Y.

Sama tetapi tidak serupa. 5, 10, 20, years down the road? Still, andai ada yang begitu kasih apa yang diragui? How naively, dumbly, honest can I get to be so frank about the past? Well, he asked-for the record. heheee.. I am SO hiding this url for future references. Thank God, I'd changed a few times and was never asked about it anymore. Or, I'll delete/ hide this entry. hahahaaa...

My cousin is getting engaged tomorrow. His gf's parents are here for a small kenduri we're having tomorrow.

And... I am always getting this. Most of the time people would have guessed that I'm from Perak. Teman ada ghuper iye? I'm actually on messaging terms with a junior of mine who's in her final semester, and suddenly she asked where am I from. There're people saying I'm from Perak, KL, Melaka, Terengganu pun ada; so she just wanted to confirm sebab she thought I'd told her I'm a Sarawakian. heh. Usually it's the west coast lah, east coast jarang, tak secomel mek-mek sana. =D

Oh, TV time...

** Hanya Tuhan saja bisa menentukan segalanya. Sabar ya...

Just rambling on...

2006-04-10T10:33:00.000+08:00

I think the excitement on the 9th Malaysian Plan and all has not quite subsided. Yes? I am among the poyo ones to take note of some details too. Later that night after the Plan was announced, I was burning midnight oil berangan with buddies via texts. hahaaa...

I was not able to do much during the last examination but this time I'm determined to increase the percentage of passing and better grades for my students. Oh no, I don't believe in nurturing exam-oriented (only) students too. I encourage freedom of thoughts, quizzes, presentations, not just the 'Circle A, B, C or Ds'. I guess frequent assessments are better than frequent studying. My meaning is to do bits by bits and accumulating them permanently in their brain cells. Rather than one whole load the week before exam. I'm teaching among the most boring subjects in school and it's not easy to grab their attention. When they give me their utmost attention, I pulak nervous. heh. Seriously, I do (heheee..kantoi). I'd go like "why are their eyes not blinking, oh no, did I say out that fact right, are they gonaa bombard me with questions now?" heheee...

I just hope that our teachers' zest for teaching will not fade. It's difficult to maintain the gusto after years and years of teaching, the various changes in implementations, ever-changing system, parents' pressure and meddling in a not-so-helpful way, kids menaces, yadaa yadaa... after teaching all year round, the long school break is something they earned and deserved, not just any plus side. During the holidays the teachers have to come down for meetings and other matters too. Siapa kata jadi guru zaman millennium nie senang. Stress when fikir about your responsibility to build up the human capital for the nation. There are are bound to be some bad heads, but which organisation doesn't? Everyone has an equally vital role to play to get moving. Kena ada yang jadi cikgu, ada yang jadi exec, manager, journalist, jadi postman, jadi clerk, jadi CEO etc, kan? Semuanya satu amanah.

Well, you are after all reading a part time teacher's blog. =P

I'll be enjoying a 6 days leave this week. Tomorrow is Maulidur Rasul. Friday we'll be having another public holiday in conjunction with Good Friday then the weekend and Monday is occasional holiday for Easter Monday. Such long break... *sigh* Dengki btol that two minahs for not allowing me there. heh.

Am I regretting for not flying over, because this 'burden' is killing me. =P It could have unravel most of the things on my mind. hhmmm... Alhamdulillah I have choices when many are not even stuck with an option.

There's an aqiqah event to attend anyway on Saturday. I wouldn't want to miss this too for sure.

** Hadirmu mengubah segalanya

Of School, Teachers and Students

2006-04-08T16:16:00.000+08:00

The title pretty much sums up what my life has revolved on for the past two weeks.

As soon the exams ended, it was time for form teachers to key-in marks, post-exam analysis, and filling in report cards. All these in the midst of doing lesson planning, marking homeworks, teaching and various other classes' affairs.

When all aforementioned was done, it's time to set questions for the first term paper. We had just launched the Bulan Budi Bahasa and in two weeks time we're launching the Bulan Bahasa. It's not that I didn't want to assist but I just had to turn it down to do trainings for the choir and whatever visits and camps. Too occupied.

Not helping when three students in my class were suspended for 3 days, 10 days and a fortnight each. They got an earful from me before I released their letters. Kids nowadays...

And yesterday I've just seized a letter filled with obscene languages and felt sick reading it. It sounded like a psycho pervert is on the loose and the person who wrote it is only 13. I've not called the parents yet, and I'm waiting for further opinions from our Afternoon Supervisor. I was a student before too.. naughty I don't mind, I believe everyone will grow up to be orang anyway given the chance and changed circumstances in the future (hey,we'll never know) and several times I've bend the rules for the students, but such attitude is something that makes me *speechless*.. it was a sickly written letter! Period.

Every evening I'm dead beat by the time I reached home, and I only thought of hitting the sack asap.

In school, I had to wait for an hour and a half before meeting commenced. I was just very disappointed somehow with the way some people work at times. *sigh*

Choices. Decisions.

I for one am bad at them. And now, being at crossroads I'm spoilt for choices. Istikharah, yes I know. Still, the anxiety and choices (heheee..) adds to the hype a little. Perhaps I have a little too much fervor. No doubt it's the turning point now, and I don't think I'll have that much regrets either way. Yang tu minat, yang ini sayang tapi cenderung arah yang satu lagi juga. I hate myself for being tamak like this. More details? Moh la YM... heheheee...

At the J*M yesterday, I had a slight 'heart attack'. I had buffaloes in my tummy. Sabor jer lah... =)

**Praying for safe arrival

Shedding some light

2006-03-21T11:13:00.000+08:00

I was flipping channels for the prime news last night. What Datuk Seri Mohd. Nazri said in Parliament triggered me to do a posting. I had to put aside for a moment my dear novel. It really bugged me.

They want to make it obligatory for new converts to inform their family. During the telecast from Parliament Datuk Seri Mohd. Nazri said something like a human right is no longer solely his/her right if it is going to impinge on the rights of others, thus there is a need for certain guidelines on how to go about. True enough, conversion to Islam affects many areas such as the sanctity of marriages between different religion partners, inheritance, children's custody, yadaaa yadaaa...

I understand the logics, arguments, and their point but, but, but...

Still... I was upset.

Again, I think, things are easier said than done. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul (the load may see heavy to the naked eyes but it is the one who shoulder the load who would actually know it feels).

Let's be realistic and speak from a lower ground here. Leave all the constitutions, law-makers at the level where they are.

Conversion is such a big turning point in one's life. Be it into any religion. However, personally I feel there are more that is acquired of us when we choose the path of Islam, it being an agama fitrah. Simple example is the wind of change in how you dress, consumption and prayers.

As open as nowadays people claim their mentality to be, believe me, conversion is never a not-so-sensitive issue to juggle with. That there are still some people who 'look down' on converts. Various ways of being prejudice.

- he/she is trying to be (deemed as) too Islamic

- he/she is only converting to tie the knot

- he/she will still be the old same him/her and won't be able to blend in as Muslims

- he/she may grip onto traditions and can't be good Muslims

How sad can that be? Maybe minority but still... While there are MANY organisations around, how many actually are down at the fields? After the conversion, what's next? How do we assist? How keen are we, and how much are we willing to do?

This is an issue that is close to my heart for I have seen and experienced. I was judged before the meeting. I hold no grudges because I have always known these are how things are, and I was a wee bit unfortunate I didn't see it coming. When your family background's are brought into the light, how to fend yourself? It is a big blow to one's self-esteem. Did I ask to be stuck in this? I'm not lamenting on what came about, but as hurtful as it is, it happened and stays as a part of the memory.

It is so easy to judge, why they can't reveal they have converted? There are many possibilities to consider.

- will the family accept with an open heart?

- will these converts still have roofs over their head?

- can they fend for themselves for a decent meal on the table?

- where is the loving, support and encouragement going to come from? no one can ever love you like your own family, no matter under any circumstances.

For all the above, should one postpone one's conversion though hidayah is there? If he/she dies before reciting the syahadah? What is the justification then?

Converting is a tough and major call to make. Is he/she a disobedient child just because he/she yet to gather enough courage to come clean with their folks?

The obstacles vary. Some are much luckier, some are not. Some manage to pull through, some do not.

I've seen people 'in' then out. I feel helpless. People who had pledged their support yet back off. People who are more concern on marrying converts off on the pretext of security etc (I'm not against marriage but the thought about it is actually being suggested so that there is SOMEONE to finally take over the 'duty' of taking care irks me). People who look out for outer appearance (i.e tudung) rather than checking on the ibadah or amal.

I tend to be emotional. Sorry.

Alhamdulillah, really, for brothers and sisters who have abundant support around them. May Allah continue to shower you with the strength to go on and copious guidance in life.

It's not I'm against the idea of announcing it to the world that you are a Muslim and be proud of it, but think also of the consequences and welfare of all the parties.

To make it mandatory, to incorporate in into the law? I don't know...

Sister Shafiqa, what's your take on this and perhaps you would like to share too?

In KL or Peninsular Malaysia, temporary shelters are plenty.

In KK there are gazetted houses for new converts where they can stay for a short time.

In Kuching, sad to note, there's none of the above. There are rented hostels but maximum is three days if I'm not mistaken. Thing is, just A FEW days! Something is being done to improve this particular department, yet it seems still a long way to go. Why, what, is causing the delay, I don't know.

Where is protection going to come from? Anyway, I once touched a little on this subject. Here.

Frankly, there is not enough of man-power, and those who are willing to go all out into the fields.

Da'wah doesn't end there when you have finally converted someone. It's a continuous responsibility (if you can call it so). Personally, I feel that da'wah is a way of life. On how you carry yourself. Actions speak louder than words.

Fatihah Nur Izzati means the beginning of the light of truth/nobility. I pray that through a life well-lived, I can be a living testimonial on the beauty and greatness of Islam. Same goes for fellow muslimin and muslimat. Allahuakhbar. Ameen.

Whatever that comes along, I pray and hope it will be the best for everyone.

Blogging break

2006-03-20T11:58:00.000+08:00

Hear ye! Hear ye!

heheheeee... =D

I got myself some new books at a super duper great bargain during the book fair. 5 books at a mere RM126. Mind you, the books here on average cost about RM10 more (each!) than those you find in Kinokuniya. I got several self-help books too plus some reading materials and workbooks for my cousins. I was so carried away that I had just enough left to pay for a pen and a decent plate of nasi kerabu with a glass of iced longan. =P

I got some of Grisham's and McNaught's. My friend opts to complete her Sidney Sheldon's. Another friend is going to lend me some of her books too. Life's a bliss!

I think from now on I'm just going to snuggle under the duvet with a glass of cold milk with some cookies or chocolates and read away...

*wonderful*

School Meme

2006-03-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

After the last entry yesterday, I had a small chat with a friend. I guess I just needed to talk to someone whenever I find myself stuck in such mud pool. It's not a mud pool, really. It was a tough crossroad.

My friend reminded me of a very important lesson in life. Never have regrets over your decisions. He said he gave away his opportunity to study in the US and he has no qualms over it. I had decided on B when he asked me to go for A, but that does not matter at all. It's just that I appreciate him taking the time to comfort me though not that successful in calming me down but I managed to log off with a smile. [and while typing this entry he called a few minutes ago to check on me, how sweet can he get...]

More of today's occurrence shows that I've made the right move. Alhamdulillah. Though I have to let go of such a golden opportunity, it's ok I guess.

Saw this meme on Kak Haida's.

I've always had fond memories of schooling days. So here goes:

How many schools did I go to?

I attended Primary One in SRK Green Road. Simply because my dad's working there. My dad is not a teacher though. The next year my dad was transferred to Divisional Office and I was also transferred to a school nearby his office which is known as SRB St.Faith then. After the circular by the ministry few years back, it was changed to SK St.Faith. At the beginning of last year, they stopped taking in students for Standard 1. Something about taking over the school’s land for development purposes. Somewhere along the line, I hazily recall my father wanted to arrange for my transferransfer me again yet again. It was to SK St.Mary. I refused to leave my friends so I stayed on till Primary 6. It is in this school I developed a penchant for our national language. I spoke bahasa melayu baku throughout my 5 years studying there. In that 5 years too, I secured the best student in BM without fail.

Into secondary. I rejected the offer to SM Sains Kuching. I was not ready for boarding school plus my mum was not willing to let me got too. I got into SM Kebangsaan St.Mary Kuching instead (and oh yes, I know of our sisters school in KL and Sandakan). After the results were out for PMR, I was offered a place in MRSM Kuching. I didn’t want to leave my friends so I turned down the offer. I loyally stayed put as a Marian throughout my remaining school years.

Was I the studious nerd, or the last minute hero?

Nerd, no... Studious, not really. While not a champion, and since idleness is also a norm, I know I had to motivate myself not to procrastinate too much. I'm not some genius kid or a smart-ass like my bro, so I know I have to plan/study in advance. I just prefer if things were on time. I do tend to emphasis on details a little.

Was I the class 'taiko' or the teacher's pet?

I won't say a taiko exactly. Nor the teachers' pet unerringly. Both statements would be like mixing oil and water.

However, I can say that I managed to play both roles quite diligently without offending any party along the way. Looking back, I guess what happened was I defended the rights and look towards the students' best interest in any cases, while also assuming the position as a respectful and well-mannered student to the teachers.

Some stories to share yea.

Once,once,stories to share yea. teachers. the prefectorial board launched a cold war with two teachers namely the discipline teachers. It lasted for more than a week when we were called in for a meeting and the teachers apologised and one of them actually cried. Of course I was feeling guilty to the brim. On the other hand I felt the need to stand up for my friends too. It was a very trying moment there ok. Alhamdulillah, everything ended well anyway, till now; I still maintain good rapport with the two teachers.

I managed to realise our dreams of making the first prefectorial board farewell celebration to our seniors in a resort! Usually it would be held at night cum dinner in the school compound. We wanted it different. We went all out to do it despite being looked down by some teachers and seniors too. We had it two days and a night, inclusive of a seafood dinner. Bertuah nya seniors.

Despite all the remonstration and disputes, we maintained a good relationship too with the teachers. I won't be a sour grape. I can't afford too, and I malas nak melayan menda remeh temeh nieh sebenarnya. Personally, who were not nakal in their days? So long it's nothing major, I'll let them off the hook. Setakat corrections pens, bubble gum, cassettes or vcd is ok. Not ok is when they're cigarettes, psychotropic pills, not pinning your baju kurung, not wearing singlet for muslim girls not wearing tudung, those irks me out. =P

Bunch of demerit forms that got to my hands never arrived at the teachers. Let me share why. I believe that action speaks louder than words and people actually KNOW you. Though I tolerated the students in many areas, they perceived me the strictest person too. And they actually like me for that. Nasib baik... heheheee...

How garang can I get? I once chased a group of three girls (I think) on the street because I saw them already in the school compound yet they went out again. I just know they are up to no good so I pursued them lah. I bet they didn't see that coming. hahahaaa...

Students are our main informants too of any happenings around the school. And I like the way we worked things out then. Unlike what I hear of the school now. I wish these 'elected leaders' know how to go about and learn a thing or two on PR.

I've always maintained a close relationship with the teachers. Not kissing up to them. Just close. How many of us actually get to share meals with your teachers in school kan? The first time it happened I punya lah segan, tapi lepas tuh biasa dah. I don't mind doing favours for teachers but I know my limits too so as not to be their 'pet'.

Anyways, a taiko or not, doesn't matter, I ended my school years in high spirits. hts and happenedles.

What was the biggest rule I broke in school?

I didn't any. hehehee...

However, there was one time we were in charge of decorating the halls for Teacher's Day. Only my assistant and I had the consent to go out during school hours to purchase stuffs. Anything such as ribbons, cello tapes, wrapping papers etc. Often on our way, we would tapau packed food for the rest of our camaraderie. Once, we bump into two of our teachers having their morning break at that shop. Tak lah kalut sangat sebab tahu cikgu tuh sporting. hahahaaa... It did not seem to hinder the both of us still. Instead, during an outing, the both of us went really far on the pretext of purchasing stuff (somewhere that took us a 10-15 mins walk) just to enjoy a plate of... ROTI CANAI!!! Giler berani siot!

It was fun. I did lots of crazy stuff with my assistant. She was also my mentor and guide in running the affairs of the board. She was a great person. She was among my greatest supporter even to this day. =)

Three subjects I enjoyed

Bahasa Melayu - I developed the liking for this subject ever since I was a young girl. I read a lot of BM materials ranging from Didik, Dewan Pelajar, Dewan Siswa, novels, cerita hikayat, to Gila-Gila, Ujang etc. I’m lucky that I happen to be fond of my BM teachers too since Standard 2.

However, those Alaf 21 novels, I only started reading them during my uni days. Previously I read more DBP novels.

I guess reading maketh a man.

Music Education - ours was the only school in the state having music education as a subject taught in school. I was active in the choir, dikir barat, gamelan and caklempong team. I enjoyed my time indulging in everything music related during those days. There was a particular year we learnt several dance steps including ballroom dancing. Oh, I will marry the first guy who'll give me a dip! =P

What else? Sejarah, Geography, Maths, Science, Biology (I like the subject but not the teacher...heheee), Physic (I like the teacher but he was quite poor in his teaching). Chemistry, nothing much to remember of.

Well, I don't know why I wasn't particularly in love with English during school. I had great teachers. I was involved in English publications, choral speaking and forum, yet I don't know why I wasn't love-struck with the subject then unlike now.

So, I don't have a third favourite subject. =P

Three teachers that inspired me

This is tough. I think I'll end up with more than three. I'll just start from primary school to make things easier. So, in no particular order.

Cikgu Bunian - I know the name sounds funny. heh. She was my class teacher in Standard 2 and 3 and she developed my love for BM. She was the one who trains me for competitions during those days. Those were my stepping stones to have more confidence in anything I did.

Cikgu Hashim - My class teacher for Standard 4,5 and 6 who is also my BM teacher for the three consecutive years. I was bullied into believing that I was a teacher's pet, but heck I don't care. I was too young to be bothered with those stories. He had also played a role in boosting my self-confidence.

Cikgu Wilhelmina - Our English and Music teacher. During my initial years in that school I was timid and ill at ease of myself and my surroundings. She had complained to my parents that I don’t greet the teachers 'enough'. When my parents told me and advised me on that, I was a little annoyed. Good thing is, since then I tend to greet anyone I know on the streets. "Hello uncle" "Good morning aunty"

Cikgu Annette - She was the teacher who told us not to be a Jack or Jane, with all work and no play. She told us the importance of balancing life and getting to know even the latest news in entertainment, not just be too absorbed with our studies. What provoked her comments? She saw none of us brought entertainment magazines to school!

In secondary;

Cikgu Noraza - A petite, charming, fair-skinned lady who looks really cute in tudung. There was one conversation I had with her before she got transferred back to Kelantan that I will never forget for the rest of my life. She shared a lot with me off-school hours and taught me great deal of lessons in life. But, she is also one strict lady with a sharp tongue, mind you. There was one time, during her class; somehow I was called outside of class to discuss stuff with several different parties and she was of course irritated that her class is being interrupted often. I was pissed too. I guess she dah hilang sabar that she exclaimed (when I was again called outside the classroom, I was walking and...) "Kalau dah busy sangat tuh mengalahkan menteri, baik awak angkat je kerusi meja tu dan duduk kat luar kelas" Fuh! Malu tidak terkira masa tu. ishk... I think the whole class was shocked too and I think you can hear a pin dropped. Sudahnya, I scolded the girls who wanted to see me too. hahahaaa... tension betul masa tuh.

Even so, I love her no less. I did dropped by her house during Raya in 2003 but she was not in. I was on my way from Terengganu to Tanjung Malim then. So, since she left in 2000 I've never met her. Hope to meet her anytime soon.

Cikgu Kuswady - Our class teacher in 1997. We gave him a wallet that he still uses up till last year when I last met him in school. Kedekut jugak cikgu nieh, atau sentimental value bagi dia? heheheee... we had a blast with him as our form teacher. And I've never failed to visit him for Raya since 1997 except in 2003 and 2005 when I was not around in Kch. It seems like will have to give it a miss again this year. He's a great teacher. A good sport and adores us as much as we do him.

Cikgu Shahizam - Class teacher for 1999 and 2000. Giler lawak cikgu nieh. Loyar buruk pun iye jugak. Kedah mai. He used to tell us that when he n his wife first got transferred to Sarawak the wife mati-mati didn't want to come, yet now, when he wants to go back to his hometown, the wife mati-mati tak nak balik. hahahaaa... he was always behind our back, giving us advices and how to plot against certain teachers. heh. Giler best kan. If there's a spot-check, he and his best buddy Cikgu Solomon will keep the vcds for the students. Dorang pun tumpang pinjam. I malas nak comment. heh. Cikgu Shahizam gave me a lengthy testimonial in my school leaving cert which I appreciate a lot. I will still look for him every time I'm back in school.

There's also of course Mrs.Lu (who bakes excellent shepherd's pie), Mr.Siva (admirable English accent), Mdm.Ivy (a lovely lady with superb vocab), Ms.Wilarmy (who instilled the sense of leadership in me and very supportive, understanding and reasonable), Mdm.Linda Ong (my principal, a great lady with admirable traits, simply no another. She still hugs and gives me pecks and she's the reason why I'm inspired to be a principal one day), Cikgu Hadiah (the nicest sets of baju kurungs, elegance in simplicity), Ustazah Norhayati (supportive, gentle, kind, and which her mother had adopted me as a daughter) and many more others.

I guess I don't really remember them individually inspiring me. Each and every one of them have played immense roles in my life, moulding me to be what I am today, and I'm very thankful for all the precious lessons and experiences they've given me.

Maybe this year I'll finally deliver the cake I've pledged ages ago for the upcoming Teacher's Day celebration in May.

Cubalah untuk mengerti
Cubalah menghayati
Apa tersirat di hati

Tough call...

2006-03-16T17:14:00.000+08:00

The first path will lead me to an opportunity in a field I've always wanted to explore. Something I know I would enjoy doing. Though I'm not quite sure if it's something I really set my heart for. But it would be a challenge, since am still young and I have all the time in the world to explore, see the sights and learn. Then again, do I really have the bonus of those few years to experiment on?

The second path is something I can see myself doing for 25 years or so. Being a freaking fretful this seems like the best option to fall into and which my parents would approve of. This path however will take a slightly longer period to come true. Once you're in, you're in, and will be working upwards too.

The former however can be realised now. The most within a month perhaps. I've got the call and unthinkingly said no, and now I'm having second thoughts about it. Stupid me!

The reason I said no initially is because considering the fact that I'm already tied up (if not tied down) with this teaching job. So, how oh how? If I stick to this teaching job, clearly my path is leading to the second course.

Let's see if they will give another call esok. Kalau ada maka ada lah. If not, I've lost it. huhuuuu...

Thing is, I guess, I won't be so terkilan knowing I've tried and not doing well rather than gave things up without even setting a foot in.

Question is; where do I want to be? And why? Do I really want that? I don't know... I (think I) should start doing lists on both options.

Tough... very tough...

Crossroads...

2006-03-16T13:50:00.000+08:00

How do I cope?

How do I decide?

These are rezeki, I should not be complaining (I am not) but I'm clueless on what's the next best step. I can't be too greedy...

I need HELP. These are all a little overwhelming. I'm grateful, Alhamdulillah, but I don't know how to decide. How oh How...

*shall go and try seeking guidances from HIM and every corner reachable*

Procedures & Bureaucracy

2006-03-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

Never ever blog in the middle of the night when your mood is all mellow yet blue.

Recap of the day.

We were at the Land Survey Dept to arrange the transfer of my late grandma's land to my aunt. Unfortunately since the lands are situated in Saratok, we would have to refer to Betong LSD. That is 3 1/2 hours drive from Kch. Still, we didn't have much choice. It would of course be convenient to ask the lawyers to do it but it'd be slightly costly. My dad has had enough favours from his buddy. So, they decided they would drive down to Betong tomorrow morning.

Next stop was at B*N. We wanted to close down my grandma's account and transfer the remaining money into my aunt's account. Here we practically wasted 3 hours. There was a huge crowd and the officers that attended to us were not being helpful. Upon reaching our turn at the counter we still have to fill certain forms and we were asked to go to the DO to get the forms certified. The death cert and Letter of Admin is there, so why still the need to get those certifications? It was really troublesome. Nevertheless, what say have we? We went to the DO anyway to get those forms certified.

One more thing is to have many, many photocopies of the documents because you'll never know how many would be needed.

Since tomorrow the elders are going to Betong, I am to baby-sit here. They will only be back in the evening. I thought of bringing the kids to the book fair. We’ll see how things go.

I saw a digi cam I quite like. Am still contemplating. Mine, I gave it to my bro before he left for NZ. Thought that it maybe more handy for him. He's generous yet he can be quite stingy at times though he's so far richer than I am. There was one time what he earned in a week is equivalent to my one-month salary here. Not that I mind. He's far, so it's ok for us to make sure he has enough to spend lah.

I hope he won't give too many excuses if I insist he comes back at the end of the year coz he’s been telling us he’s not coming back for the next two years due to him having to complete his 4 months industrial training. He's dividing the 4 months to 2 months each for the 2nd and 3rd year. So, it means he still have one month plus holiday each year, so balik lah kan. Kesian my mum.

I'm actually waiting for a guest to arrive nieh. Half an hour to go.

The opening ceremony to the Commonwealth Games. Anyone watched it? It was ok. I learnt a lot of countries' names. =P

I guess I'll switch to some TV now.

Nites.

Biarkan cinta ini hadir...

A sweet thought

2006-03-14T23:31:00.000+08:00

There are 6 billion people around the world. You know why I keep on messaging you? Simply because... 5 999 999 999 can't replace a single you!

Ain't that sweet? The text came in soon after I've texted Hani and Kak Nor. That was from Wani. She lah yang akan tie the knot end of this year. I am so excited about it. The first of my friends yang akan menjejak alam rumah tangga. Baik dan lawa budaknya. She's also a temporary teacher in her hometown.

Kak Nor told me that Dr. asked about me. I've always adored this lady. She does have her tantrums (which XX doesn't?) but they were still tolerable. Being a deputy dean she doesn't have much choice other than being an authoritarian. She has never directly bombarded me and well, so long we don't step on each other's foot we're ok. Why I like her style is maybe seeing her reminds me of myself at work too. She was my thesis supervisor and the only lecturer I've been keeping in touch with till now. Our last contact was when she called me a month back. We correspond through emails and texts too. I still remembered last year's AF when she was a fan of Felix. eheheee... such a cute lady. Owh, I miss her. I thought of giving her this blog url but then, maybe not just yet. Perhaps after I've improved my writings. Or else she'll probably start editing my posts for me (literally). As for now, e-mail will do. ;)

Better start on the short update now. Good night peeps!

Under the weather

2006-03-14T10:05:00.000+08:00

With the HFMD cases escalating and everyone is down with a combo of or either a fever, cold and cough of late, I am worried over my father and my little cousin.

My dad has been coughing for the past few days and it doesn't seem to get better. He's been taking some medication from the pharmacy and he finally went to see a doctor yesterday. The cough has not improved as of this time, but I hope everything will be fine for him and my cousin.

When your old folks are down with illness at this age, it worries you to death. I am constantly praying that my parents will have good health. When I recited the Yassin last night, and I heard my dad's cough downstairs, I had tears in my eyes. Over and over again, I prayed that my parents will be in the pink of health, so does my brother who is so far away. I miss that little brat sometimes.

There was one time we were at the airport lounging around after the check-in. Since we had plenty of time to kill; we wanted to purchase some chocs, alas none to our liking. So we decided to sit in front of the choc outlet. Then the most sordid thing happened before our very eyes.

You know those choc always selling for 6.90/100g or 7.90/100g. A jar full of white chocolates tumbled onto the floor. I saw a girl picking the chocolates up. In my head I was so positive that she was going to discard it somewhere else. Suddenly... she poured those chocolates she had just picked up from the floor into the same jar for display together with the clean chocolates! My brother was enraged. My mum just gasped. I wished we had a camera phone to capture that scene! And post it on The Star or NST. From behind the door I saw another girl carrying a broom and dustpan. She must have meant to sweep those chocolates away. She was as taken aback as we were it seems. Suddenly I noticed this lady who seems like the owner with her hands resting on her hips and was mumbling something. Oh my goodness, this cheapskate lady. Unbelievable!

We had our eyes fixed on them the whole time and yet that lady boss can selamba badak instructed all that. What a shame. She chooses to neglect hygiene over personal gain.

Kiddingly, I asked if my mum or bro had stepped on any pooh since we are indirectly contributing to the level of contamination to those chocs since we were the last customers walking in there. I told my mum and bro, next time, purchase only wrapped chocs.

Mentalities of those whom you assumed are smart, up-to-the-minute and civilised sometimes caught you off guard.

Spending quality time...

2006-03-13T10:02:00.000+08:00

After dinner, I saw 5 miscalls on my phone. Few seconds later an incoming call. I only had 20mins to take bath and get ready.

I thought I won't make a good company at the state that I am at the moment tapi rupanya kecoh juga. Well, I do need that time to chill out as a matter of fact.

Baini and Farrah had to give me extra minutes coz when they arrived I've just finished my bath.

We decided to have dinner at MyKampung in Waterfront. Leeches! Tempat cekik darah! And not all the food served is a pleasure for your taste bud. Roti John (so-called submarine) and a basket of fries cost RM7 each. Last time I thought it was only RM6. Petrol pun baru naik 0.30.

It's not the food and ambience that matters. It was great company. Talking about spending quality time. ;)

It's been a long, long time since we last enjoyed each other's company. There are still missing cliques due to differing locations, nevertheless we had wished for their presence deep down. The three of us sat there from 8.30pm till 12am! We touched on various subject matters (and who says ladies generally speaks about workload and relationships only, not capable of having decent conversations (?), majority perhaps but not all the time) from the upcoming elections, government and opposition coalition, social ills, school admin, price hike, books, economic, even deviationist teachings, (to which Farrah suddenly exclaimed maybe we should be ministers; where I gave her the "are you sure?" looks and more deep thought questions and we gave up answering... hahahaaa...) and of course not forgetting AF which brought us to Mawi then Siti, fashion, entertainment industry, movies, cerita hantu, which leads Baini to suggesting us all to slumber in her house. hahahaaa... How time flies as you reminisced on the past and actually more than a decade had passed on since then.. hhmmm...

Before heading home, sempat lagi singgah McD. We all had the Smarties McFlurry. Yummy! Malam-malam buta masih mampu mencekik lagi. Farrah was purposely agitating me by arguing over the 3cents balance. Kecoh tol. The McD waiter and waitress were also laughing along. I don't know whether they understood our joke, but I guess they were laughing at us laughing. We were loud, it just never occurred to me (us) to control cun. You know your place right? When and where to carry the right attitude? In which reminded me about one of our earlier discussions; are girls from all-girl school more snobbish that the ones from co-ed school? To this I replied, perhaps not the word snobbish, but somewhat a certain level of confidence. Bitchy? I think we all have a little of that in us. Anyways, I don't think it's an apt topic to be preached about. Personality is individuality. A combo of the past and present, surroundings, teachings and experiences.

Upon reaching home, we decided on a game of Scrabble, and we ended up sleeping only at 4am! huhuuu... seksa mataku...

We woke up at 6am and decided to have breakfast at this Chinese cafe, which served halal cuisine. It's not like we're lacking of halal outlets in Kch, but halal and satisfactory is a tough mission.

Which reminds me about the two new outlets in town, one is serving Southern Indian food and the other Italian cuisine. I think I would enjoy the former more. Still, the latter is among the favourites too, provided they are good.

Am off to run some errands now. Have a nice day peeps!

Jika...

2006-03-12T18:00:00.000+08:00

Jika aku jatuh cinta, cintakanlah aku
pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu
agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk menyintaiMu...

Jika aku jatuh hati, izinkanlah aku
menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu
agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu...

Jika aku jatuh hati jagalah hatiku
padanya agar tidak berpaling daripada hatiMu.....

Jika aku rindu, rindukanlah aku
pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalanMu....

Jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihMu
janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan
indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirMu....

Jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihMu
jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam
perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepadaMu....

Jika Kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihMu
jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas
sehingga melupakan aku pada cinta hakiki
dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu...

....Ameen.....

It may still be a long shot.. but, at least there's a reason to be content and smiling about... =D

In Loving Memory

2006-03-10T12:34:00.000+08:00

We're still coping with my grandma's lost.

It has been a very busy week, and I think I shall just jot some down in here for remembrance.

My late grandmother was 76 years old the day the Lord called her back.

I got the news when I was still in school. I was literally numbed when I read my Mum's text and quickly arranged for a few days leave. After that, I didn't know what (exactly) to do. I have another class to go into but at the same time I want to rush home too.

When I arrived at my aunt's place, they had already bathed and clothed my grandma. It was already late in the evening so only few relatives and family friends managed to drop by. An uncle was still stuck with a meeting in Miri. Another uncle is on his way back from our kampung. That night we all 'camp' next to my grandma's body. We were supposed to stay up, but I was too exhausted and fell asleep in between chats.

Next day by 6am, we were already on the go. My aunt went to school to inform about her absence, and my parents went for some grocery shopping. My cousin arrived that same morning from Mukah. When everyone is back in the house, we once again divided the tasks. My cousin and a few others will be staying at home and start preparing meals for people who'll be flooding the house to pay their last respects. (we were thankful that my cousin is a chef as he was the one who foresee all the meals are catered for the whole week)

The rest of us went to buy the coffin. And my first time being so involved and had to do the death cert and do more grocery shopping. By 3pm we're done. And I was already pening-pening lalat due to lacking of proper rest.

My grandma was an Iban and a Christian. Usually, the body will be buried on the third day, but since we had to wait for the return of an uncle and some other relatives from other parts of the state, we postponed another day.

It was tedious attending and ensuring everyone is comfortably settled down with a decent meal.

The night before the burial is called the Vigil Night (I think lah?). In the Iban custom it differs slightly. After the prayers, some respected elders will stand up and speak about the life of my grandmother. It can drag onto 2 or 3am. But, thank God, it ended at about 12am that night. We are just slightly bit more modern and decided why burn everyone's oil as the next day is going to be another long day? I myself dosed off at 11pm and woke up finding the event had ended. This particular night we had over 150 guests. How we know? Because my aunt catered food for 150 and there were no more plates left and we had to take out our own plates. We didn't ask my cousin to cook on this particular night because that would be too much to ask for. The rest of the nights we had an average of less than 100 so it's ok. I really admired my cousin for his efforts.

The burial service is to take place at the cathedral at 9am on March 4th.

I read her analogy. I was trying so hard to fight back tears on the pew. Seeing my father and aunt cried moments before was not a helpful thought either. Stepping down, I was crying endlessly. When we had another last look at my grandma before they locked the casket, there were tears streaming from her eyes. It was very touching for us.

Given a choice I know my grandmother would want to stay on. However, she knows that she had had enough too. She was ready to take her leave. She told us so many times how pleased she was to see where the children and grandchildren are at this point. My grandmother is illiterate but she's very passionate about education. She had always reminded me to pursue my MSc. And for that, three of her grandchildren were not around as they're in the States and NZ. She's also very up to date about the latest news. Seronok melayan celoteh dia tanya kenapa, di mana etc.

Still... how I wished she still had another year to at least see my cousin tying the knot. That is the part I am kinda terkilan of. If it was not because of her illness, she would have still been in the pink of health. ffinmissing her. many. ed, it simply But we all have had our share of her remarkable love. We have a lot to be thankful for her life.

Though you know her time is nearing, when it finally happened, it simply just still doesn't make sense that she's no longer going to be here.

She was a great grandmother. So loving and caring yet a firm lady in her principles. Her faith is very admirable.

It was a comfort seeing her being loved by so many. She had many flowers and people missing her. The whole burial was a smooth one.

After the burial, three nights in a row, special prayer sessions were held.

After three nights then the crowd subsided. My family are having dinner at my aunt's place every night now so as to keep them company. I still have not had the courage to enter my late grandma's room yet. My cousin is sleeping on her bed. The thought of that itself caused tears to well up.

My grandma had 5 children and the youngest past away in 1993, soon after he returned from England. My father is the second child. My grandma has 10 grandchildren, of which are four girls and six boys.

She'll remained in our thoughts forever and continue to be our inspiration.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

On the other hand, Kak Hani and Abg Fendy are going to be engaged this March 12th.

Wanie is going to tie the knot soon. A very good excuse to finally go up to Pulau Mutiara.

My dad and my aunt were discussing about my cousin's marriage plans. They want my cousin to obtain a degree along the way coz his future fiancee is a graduate herself. It saddened me hearing how my dad and my mum talked about weddings because that is one area I have denied them what they hope for and I just don't know what to do. (and it is (also) comforting to know that my dad is protective in some sort of ways and it made me think a lot that he would have reacted just the same like cik ayah, pakcik A and uncle H).

Another friend meanwhile is deeply stricken with her love life and her sister even texted me to give continuous encouragements and support. And I did just that, and still am. They are flying down to Kch in two weeks time.

Itu lah. Mak ayah mana, kakak, abang mana yang nak tengok anak/adik dorang unhappy kan? Hikmah tersembunyi tidak terjangkau dek fikiran kita. Akur lah nasihat orang tua.

Adakah diri ini sememangnya kuat atau pura cuma?
Hidup bukan tentang apa yang sepatutnya tetapi apa yang sewajarnya.
Pemergian sebentar hanya...

2006-03-01T20:50:00.000+08:00

Nenda tercinta telah meninggalkan dunia yang fana ini dan pergi menyahut seruan Illahi pada jam 1720.

Maybe... he's just not that into you...

2006-03-01T10:07:00.000+08:00

This is really funny. Was watching Oprah and the topic today was on relationships. I was smiling all the way through and through and thought that (hey!) maybe I can get these books for some of my friends that might find them helpful. I don't how good are they as self-help books but I guess they must be good enough to appear on Oprah.

Two of the books got my attention and well, I went online to check them out. And the books were on offer too. Good catches there.

We have our Kelab Olahraga every Wednesday morning. Treated the boys and girls to some light snacks. I've never bought anything from the canteen before. The karipap sucks. The crust was ok, but not the fillings. It's as if they merely stir-fried the potatoes with curry powder. Yucks!

Wanted to blog about the call I got from A*M, but, let's leave it out. I can't really recall the details anymore anyway. Decided to pass the offer to Hani.

It seems like a beautiful day today...

Cane or No Cane?

2006-02-28T09:35:00.000+08:00

Canning was publicly heatedly discussed once upon a time. I can't really recall what sparked the arguments then.

What I'm writing next are merely my observations and no harm was ever intended to the said parties.

To what degree of mischief then the kids deserved/ should be canned?

In one of the previous school I was in, I saw a discipline teacher slapped a student. I was stunt. Given the environment of the school, I understood how imperative strict measures were.

Personally, I have never caned my students. I do however believe that children could do with to be caned if needed to. I don't think the usage of cane is uncalled for. A simple point at it is if your kids don't obliged praying by the age of seven, we are to use a stricter approach. It shows that between those growing ages it is vital to impose discipline. There are of course various ways to inculcate discipline.

Then again, as people say, there's always the first time for everything. Next day the news has spread about being one of the garang ones and do not mess around in my class. I hope it is still not too late to help these kids. I believe they are still at the age of something can still be done. I'm teaching 8 out of the 9 Form 1 classes.

The first few days were very stressful as I tried to garner their respects. Later on it is the stage of conveying the friendship message.

I bukan jenis yang berkira with my students. Tak ada pen, I bagi. Tak makan, I buy them food. However, when it comes to discipline matters I am very particular. And the students realised this that makes me happy. The students know I have a sharp tongue and tolerate no nonsense.

In my class, the floors must be clear of any rubbish. Ties must be neatly done on their shirt. Mesti ada belt and socks. Baju kurung kena ada pin. When I teach, everyone must listens. Tak tahu, tanya.

I am also a form teacher. My class is not the best class but can still be managed. The day after I warned them about truancy, I had full attendance the whole week. Alas, they only behave in my class.

I have complaints from 2 teachers now. Frankly, I don't blame the students. Why can the students do work and behaved in my class but not theirs? How do you justify this situation? These teachers want me to fill in the students' discipline cards. I'm not doing it. I feel that as a teacher you are the one who must be able to control the students. Make them pay attention in class. Budak-budak kan. Given a chance of course they'll start acting up.

People always complained about the fresh batch of teachers and in particular lady teachers. I feel in the current school I am in, the younger generations and ladies are more a martinet compared to the veterans and most male teachers.

Some teachers are more troubled about their vehicles not to be sabotaged (that is why I jalan kaki je ke sekolah... hahahaaa). They care more about not being called in the pengetua office or receiving a sue note from the parents' lawyer.

Tak kira lah, guru baru atau guru senior. Guru lelaki mahupun guru perempuan. Mendidik anak bangsa itu satu amanah. Kita marah kerana sayang bukan kerana benci. After you've reprimand the students, reason out with them.

Nawaitu kita cuma nak lihat anak didik berjaya dalam hidup. Kalau itu dah niat kita, takkan something can go wrong? I believe that if our intentions are right, insyaAllah, whatever we do, Allah will pave the way for us.

Time solat tu mintaklah, "Ya Allah, terangkan hati students ku untuk menerima pelajaran, jadikan mereka insan yang berjaya dalam hidup, sentiasa menghormati sesama manusia, niatku adalah untuk mendidik, mudahan mak ayah depa tak complaint atau hantar surat saman." =P

Once I read something that goes, "be a disciplinarian to your children when they are young, be their friends and guide when they are in teenage years, and then be their advisors and supporters when they are adults, by then decisions are solely theirs to make"

Parenting is tough ay. One day, if I ever have children of my own, then it's apt to share more. As for now, I'm just a cikgu.

Perhaps Love...

2006-02-23T09:52:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Kak AZ Haida.

Here goes:

oes:

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A. 8 Different Points of a Not-So-Perfect Lover

Someone I'm able to look up to

That said; I do need him to be the leader and play a bigger role in any decisions-making. He has to be someone who-s able to garner my respect and admiration. He cannot be intimidated by me in other words as I'd like to lean on him for support and encouragements to keep me going.

Good sense of humour

The love of my life has to be someone who's able to make me laugh and brighten my day. Even the thoughts of him and his silly looks would be able to make me smile. I'm naturally a smiley and love to laugh so it is not an arduos task at all. It is only natural you would want someone who shares the same frequency as you do. Takkan nak gelak sorang-sorang, ye?

Able to look on the other side of the field

Bright side or not. He is able to open up a new perspective and options whereby no one else seems to be able to discern. As analytical and meticulous as I may be, I often missed out certain judgements. I always appreciate different outlooks on things I may have disregarded. Not round the clock agreeing to what I say. Admirable intelligence and wisdom. Frank yet with a good dash of wit.

Respects for elders and children and friends alike

Able to blend in any crowd. I hold onto firmly that a son's responsibility is towards his mother. Somehow it just gives me a good assurance. It shows that he knows his religion well, one thing. He's helpful with chores around the house. Once in a while is a fair bargain. The importance of pursuing higher education. Loves to read. Eh, lari dari topic. =P

Religion

This is the top on most lists. It is the most vital criteria. Iman tops the list compared to beauty, background and the number of 000 000s in your bank statement. In this case I choose to differ a little. I believe, in gathering deeper knowledge and nurturing the faith, both have to walk hand in hand. It is not the sole responsibility of one party. Kecintaan ilmu.

Loves food and travelling

I enjoy gastronomic fiesta from time to time. I hope I don't land myself with someone who enjoys super-spicy food. I do, it's just that, let's have a variety for meals. I know it is not hard to please those who enjoy spicy food, taram je cili lebih2 sket. =P And travelling is not limited to anything plane-bound. I'd love the occasional visits to the restaurant, movie, or simply a stroll in the park. Moments whereby we only have each other and all the time in the world to ourselves. Just to cuddle up and be affectionate.

Shares the same values, vision and mission in life

For our family and life especially. The upbringing of the children etc. I think it is important to enforce on common values and discipline in the family. Then there'll be understanding in lining up plans for the best interest of the family.

Passable similarities and differences to go about

Bits of everything here and there, to surprise me and finding myself falling in love all over again.

Before I fall In Love by Coco Lee seems to be the theme song as I type this entry. =P

B. Sex of Target

DUH!!!

C. Tag 8 Victims

Feel free to do it =)

We all have our own guidelines. The marriage is after all hoped to last. I don't deem it as choosy but merely adhering to proposition of sekufu.

I have nothing much to offer myself so I don't expect to land myself with a high-end partner.

The road is tough and winding. And I don't wish to drag anyone along just yet. Not in the near future. My case is just a little complicated. I don't want to see unwanted commotion arising. I sedar where I stand lah. I shun away any ideas of proposal for the meanwhile simply by saying, "Siapa yang sanggup bersusah payah hadapi all these obstacles for my sake? Perempuan yang baik are plenty out there. They are worth more the trouble than I am."

I am not being humble or trying to sound heart broken tapi it's pure fact. Reality.

Until I've straighten some major areas in my life, I don't think getting hitched will be a main concern at the moment...

aving a deeper knowledge and having a

The Quiz I can't remember when I did it...

2006-02-23T09:40:00.000+08:00

Found it in one of the soft copy. No wonder I kept it coz it is quite.... errrr... true. =P

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.