Not-so-centered

I'd usually look forward to trips back there, catching up with friends. This time around I'm not quite sure why the anxious feeling. Some bad vibes. But, my instinct as a rule sucks. My last trip there, I didn't go back to the forbidden zone. My tummy lurches. I think I might even have cold feet (literally). I always do. My hand goes really cold (!) at the prospect of facing edginess. Sound inflated, but I have a faint heart. Next time around I have to spend at least two good days there. Weddings usually excite me but this time I don't quite know the trepidation. The last wedding I attended moved me to tears, and I have a feeling this next one will make we weep. Weddings are always beautiful and what else better to offer but a silent prayer that the couple will embark on a happy life lasting journey together.

"... doakanlah kebahagiaan dia..." I always do. =)

I came across an e-mail from a fellow blogger. She had this to say and I was really grateful to read it again, "There will be days you wake up and move on easily, there will be days when suddenly something triggered some thoughts but whatever it is, emotions are something we shouldn't really entertain sometimes. rather than it be our weakness, work to make it our strengths. like focusing on family and career would benefit no one but you and your close love ones. keep on improving ur self as well. keep on praying... "

I miss her rantings. Maybe it's just the mood swings lately. Works been killing me mentally and weariness get the most of you. With a month's notice handed in, I have to execute some advance works and rush through the limited time frame I have. So many things up my sleeve it cracks me up. Wait till by the end of next month when I jump into what awaits. I'm young; I can still enjoy the adrenaline rush and the pressure that lies ahead. I should learn to take a step at a time. I worry too much... I know. So, I've been reminded by many about this particular weakness of mine, but no one say it like he does. No words touched me more other than his. A decision, a corollary I have to learn to live by, to dedicate life to other pursuits.

I don't have dreams or nightmares, unlike some others, so am I less affected? I appear willful and I still make decisions with all the sensibility I am known for. No one can detect if there's anything wrong (unless if you're reading this now). Of course nothing's wrong. Just feel like blabbing away. I would feel better venting out. Again, it's mainly because of the mounting tension at work and getting things done that's causing this. I'm overdosed with Hot.fm selections too I guess. Light n Easy ain't a better choice either. Neither is Mix.fm. Hits.fm is a no-no too. My mp3 lists are bad, bad for the poor heart too. So, what can I do? I manage to finish a book. Even re-read some books. They all brought flashbacks. I went for a movie. I've been out nursing my emotions with some gastronomic (mis)adventures top with servings of cornettos and vienettas. The almond tiramisu in The Junk was to die for though. Next round must try the pavlova. heheheee... I'm surprised the scale did not detect any extra pounds. Oh, now, I can't wait to indulge in the Mega Sales jalan-jalan and looking forward to some play at the theatre too and more gastronomic advantures. =)

Finally updated the links. heh. Next best option now? Watching Dinotopia. And next week re-runs of DHW Season 2 that I'm so left out on. =D