Homesick

It's a bit heartrending to see a decade old of friendship comes crumbling down after all the years of tears and laughters? That the whole fort built fall to pieces because of my one dim blunder. Doesn't any of the memories from yesteryears strike any of their chord the way I'm tapped relentlessly? Friends for years.

Let's just say it is my fault.

Not the time to point fingers and reason things out nor going into details. I may inflict further damages to the wounds. I'm sad, yes. All those treasured moments. But life goes on too. I still have many great friends I find solace in during this time of trial. And my bestest of friend, my mum, is still by my side. She's still offering advices and fussing over me. I'm glad I have such a wonderful mother.

I sms mum at the span of time 30mins-2hours daily in total. I miss home so much. She's trying (so hard) to be strong for me so that I will be too. It touches my heart that she makes an effort to understand and trying to comprehend things. *sigh* A mother's love.

Am constantly worried. Lord, please take care of my dad, mum n bro. Not a minute goes by that I'm not thinking about home...

I know this is only the beginning...

"Fa inna ma'al usri yusro, inna ma'al usri yusro" yang bermaksud "Sesungguhnya tiap-tiap kesukaran disertai kemudahan, sesungguhnya tiap-tiap kesukaran disertai kemudahan" dan yakinlah akan firman-Nya

Anyways, found this whilst I was browsing thru my mails. How apt.

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question " What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, "Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said "Yes."

She began to expound..."As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

"When she finished her spiel, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I'm worth a lot."

It is not just a matter of being choosy or picky but I guess women nowadays are more aware that they don't marry just for the sake of having children or a family or sexually satisfied. I remembered one of my lecturers told me once that "Everybody has urges. It is up to you on how to calm them down".

Ladies (naturally everyone) need a partner who can compliments them. Someone who shares the same vision and mission in life. Just enough differences to make the marriage a new learning experience everyday and ample similarities to strengthen this sacred bond.

For the first time last night, my mum expressed her worry over my life partner. I appreciate her thoughts as I've always vowed to myself that my parents blessings are the most important criteria when I'm (finally) settling down. Afterall, (I believe) parents only think of their children's best interest no matter what.