In Loving Memory
We're still coping with my grandma's lost.
It has been a very busy week, and I think I shall just jot some down in here for remembrance.
My late grandmother was 76 years old the day the Lord called her back.
I got the news when I was still in school. I was literally numbed when I read my Mum's text and quickly arranged for a few days leave. After that, I didn't know what (exactly) to do. I have another class to go into but at the same time I want to rush home too.
When I arrived at my aunt's place, they had already bathed and clothed my grandma. It was already late in the evening so only few relatives and family friends managed to drop by. An uncle was still stuck with a meeting in Miri. Another uncle is on his way back from our kampung. That night we all 'camp' next to my grandma's body. We were supposed to stay up, but I was too exhausted and fell asleep in between chats.
Next day by 6am, we were already on the go. My aunt went to school to inform about her absence, and my parents went for some grocery shopping. My cousin arrived that same morning from Mukah. When everyone is back in the house, we once again divided the tasks. My cousin and a few others will be staying at home and start preparing meals for people who'll be flooding the house to pay their last respects. (we were thankful that my cousin is a chef as he was the one who foresee all the meals are catered for the whole week)
The rest of us went to buy the coffin. And my first time being so involved and had to do the death cert and do more grocery shopping. By 3pm we're done. And I was already pening-pening lalat due to lacking of proper rest.
My grandma was an Iban and a Christian. Usually, the body will be buried on the third day, but since we had to wait for the return of an uncle and some other relatives from other parts of the state, we postponed another day.
It was tedious attending and ensuring everyone is comfortably settled down with a decent meal.
The night before the burial is called the Vigil Night (I think lah?). In the Iban custom it differs slightly. After the prayers, some respected elders will stand up and speak about the life of my grandmother. It can drag onto 2 or 3am. But, thank God, it ended at about 12am that night. We are just slightly bit more modern and decided why burn everyone's oil as the next day is going to be another long day? I myself dosed off at 11pm and woke up finding the event had ended. This particular night we had over 150 guests. How we know? Because my aunt catered food for 150 and there were no more plates left and we had to take out our own plates. We didn't ask my cousin to cook on this particular night because that would be too much to ask for. The rest of the nights we had an average of less than 100 so it's ok. I really admired my cousin for his efforts.
The burial service is to take place at the cathedral at 9am on March 4th.
I read her analogy. I was trying so hard to fight back tears on the pew. Seeing my father and aunt cried moments before was not a helpful thought either. Stepping down, I was crying endlessly. When we had another last look at my grandma before they locked the casket, there were tears streaming from her eyes. It was very touching for us.
Given a choice I know my grandmother would want to stay on. However, she knows that she had had enough too. She was ready to take her leave. She told us so many times how pleased she was to see where the children and grandchildren are at this point. My grandmother is illiterate but she's very passionate about education. She had always reminded me to pursue my MSc. And for that, three of her grandchildren were not around as they're in the States and NZ. She's also very up to date about the latest news. Seronok melayan celoteh dia tanya kenapa, di mana etc.
Still... how I wished she still had another year to at least see my cousin tying the knot. That is the part I am kinda terkilan of. If it was not because of her illness, she would have still been in the pink of health. But we all have had our share of her remarkable love. We have a lot to be thankful for her life.
Though you know her time is nearing, when it finally happened, it simply just still doesn't make sense that she's no longer going to be here.
She was a great grandmother. So loving and caring yet a firm lady in her principles. Her faith is very admirable.
It was a comfort seeing her being loved by so many. She had many flowers and people missing her. The whole burial was a smooth one.
After the burial, three nights in a row, special prayer sessions were held.
After three nights then the crowd subsided. My family are having dinner at my aunt's place every night now so as to keep them company. I still have not had the courage to enter my late grandma's room yet. My cousin is sleeping on her bed. The thought of that itself caused tears to well up.
My grandma had 5 children and the youngest past away in 1993, soon after he returned from
She'll remained in our thoughts forever and continue to be our inspiration.
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~
On the other hand, Kak Hani and Abg Fendy are going to be engaged this March 12th.
Wanie is going to tie the knot soon. A very good excuse to finally go up to Pulau Mutiara.
My dad and my aunt were discussing about my cousin's marriage plans. They want my cousin to obtain a degree along the way coz his future fiancee is a graduate herself. It saddened me hearing how my dad and my mum talked about weddings because that is one area I have denied them what they hope for and I just don't know what to do. (and it is (also) comforting to know that my dad is protective in some sort of ways and it made me think a lot that he would have reacted just the same like cik ayah, pakcik A and uncle H).
Another friend meanwhile is deeply stricken with her love life and her sister even texted me to give continuous encouragements and support. And I did just that, and still am. They are flying down to Kch in two weeks time.
Itu lah. Mak ayah mana, kakak, abang mana yang nak tengok anak/adik dorang unhappy
Adakah diri ini sememangnya kuat atau pura cuma?
Hidup bukan tentang apa yang sepatutnya tetapi apa yang sewajarnya.
Pemergian sebentar hanya...
posted at
12:34 PM
