Flashback...

This was what I wrote on 31.12.2004.

Goodbye 2004 (Welcome 2005)

As I sit down n prepare my last post for the year 2004, lots of the past year events start rushing through my tiny mind. Flashing back n forth. For the past few nights too; listening to the radio as I lied down n did some readings made me reminisce on lots of the happenings throughout the year.

As the years fly by, as we siblings grow up, the touch got lost somewhere but kept bonded in another way. After all, not like we have any other to turn to. Growing up together n as I was the first to got out from home I snugly hold onto the idea of having my Bro around in the house. The idea of not seeing him every time I come home just didn't make sense (?) at first. Our differing academic terms just don't make things any easier. Squeezing in was the way. It is always the threesome in the house instead of the supposedly foursome. As we try perfecting touches on our lil home, Bro n Dad has to leave. 3-4 years ain't that long but it is still some period of time we've gotta deal with. We'll see then I guess.

This year our families witness a miracle when my paternal grandma was healed of her cancer. The doctors too didn't believe it at first. I trust it was our prayers n her determination to live that pushed things this far. My grandma was not highly educated but she has all the passion to acquire new things n her jolly spirit keeps me firm on my feet each time I thought of her. Even my Mum doesn't really bother with current world news but my grandma does! I never got to know my grandpa, n I knew my grandma worked hard raising 5 children on her own. She stood up for her believes, n hold onto her faith for strength.

Each year I learnt more of the values that 'friendship' possesses. Banyak udang banyak garam kan? It's interesting. It keeps me reminded of this is the world I lived in today. This is the way in which things goes around here. No longer like da good old days where ppl lived in peace most of the time. Along the way we'll meet lots of interesting individual along the way that some times we just can't help it from saying "Orang macam nie pun ader??" It's hilarious. It's sickening. It's depressing. It can be also any of the concoction from said. Brew it the way you want it.

The world doesn't just revolve around us. Karenah manusia nieh macam macam ada. The way to live life is to have tasted the bitter-sweets. [And of course salty, sour, spicy n etc. And everything nice (cam iklan PowerPuff Girls plak.haha)] It'll serve as a gentle reminder. It'll serve as a useful cue. It'll serve as an appropriate guide. It'll serve as a lesson learnt the hard way. It'll remind us to be more grateful. To realize that things just don't get served on the platter as we want it to. That the calm ocean often signals an upcoming storm ahead. Don't get too laid back. Don't get hesitated too often. Be impulsive. The smart way of course. Listen to both your heart n brain. Neither can live without the other.

We don't see n project for a year or two. We look out for something more lasting. Prioritise but also consider its importance. Take time to listen to mother nature, relax n listen too to your heart. Reflect too on HIS purpose for you. Whatever judgement to be made should always be for HIS glory for it is to HIM that we shall all return one fine day. Needless to say that things happens for a reason. Regardless of how hard we tried finding what actually is the blessing in disguise. What is our knowledge n limited mind compared to HIS? Patience is the key.

A year of blogging experience has indeed enriched my life, personally. There are no words to express how I actually feel. I've gain so much n learnt a lot from the many different individuals. Some of 'em I'm able to relate to. May they n their family be blest always. And after I've completed my bachelor I have a task to re-do our class webbie. I can't wait myself! It is in such a poor state at da moment. hmmm.....

Everyone would want the new chapter started anew n fresh. I just pray that this one more year n many more years to come (God-wills) will see me growing up as a more mature, sensible, responsible person. To be able to really forgive n forgets. *wink*

I lost a part of me forever, but I believe and am constantly reminded by a few incredible friends that if I trust Him to make the best of what He planned for me, I'll have everything and everyone I will ever need.....

Semoga lebih yg mahmudah dari yg mazmumah la yer. Semoga iman dan takwa terus bertambah. Semoga lebih istiqamah dalam amalan. Semoga terus diredhaiNya.

hhmmm... it was a very long entry. I guess I had a lot more time to myself then. Well, a lot had happened after a year had passed by. My paternal grandmother is currently under the weather. We are keeping our fingers crossed for His calling.

Meanwhile, some gain are losses, some losses are gain. Alhamdulillah I still have many great friends to lean on, and they can count the same from me... insyaAllah... Goodbye 2005...

*cheers to another new year filled with achieved dreams*

2005 Ending...

I came to learn about the Family Law ammendments from AuntyN, and I proceeded on to Mak Andeh & Kak Teh's site. On the bright side I'm glad to read of such awareness from various individuals. At least it shows we do still have ladies with brains around and are concern of each other's welfare. Alas, what more can be done but venting out dissatisfactions? Deep down I wonder if there is any ways whereby we can exercise our rights in such a freedom of speech is really heard and taken into account.

This is a pure case of niat/matlamat meng'halal'kan cara. Which should never be the case. I have my downfalls too and myself have always compromised in certain areas which I do regret doing so since I have the knowledge it shouldn't be that way. I guess, inilah namanya manusia ya...

In NST yesterday I read a column touching on politicians' links with blogs. To quote it goes something like the ruling party may have only one active member blogging whilst the opposition teams are on the majority making use of this growing fad to convey their ideas, concerns, and directly reaching out to the roots. Indeed as politicians you're always on the go, and time always seems to be your enemy to the pits. But it was interesting the way the article pointed out on how a blog provides a two-way interactions between the writer-readers and how a blog maybe a good campaigning medium instead of the conventional media conferences, ceramahs and perhimpunans. The power of blogging should not be looked half-heartedly. In a short space of time, blogging has gone from being a peripheral phenomenon to a pivotal role in online culture. Indeed it has.

On a more delicate side of an issue is on M.Moorthy's case.

I was touched when I read a statement from the late M.Moorthy's wife's lawyer, "She is the wife on the deceased, who she is the next of k in, who is the Federal Territory Religious Affairs Council to him? What rights do they have on his body?"

Indeed, and I can feel the frustrations faced by the late M.Moorthy's wife. She must have felt really betrayed. Now there is an ongoing debate and what only seems like sparks at the moment but may ignite a fire (though it maybe a small one).

Thing is this is the most feared ending for newly-convert muslims who decides to hide the matter from their family for the time being, on the pretext of darurat and to be on the safe side. It is not unheard of whereby a newly-convert is being disown by the family and he/she has to struggle fending themselves. Memang Allah tidak akan menurunkan ujian yang tidak mampu ditanggung oleh hambaNya dan barangsiapa yang menerima ujian-ujian Allah dengan hati yang redha adalah hamba-hamba yang terpilih. Akan tetapi, berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul.

The fighting point from the deceased's late wife is that he still partakes in Hindu rituals, I know that many who have converted still attend church and temples for fear their conversion may be known. There is nothing wrong to step into other's house of worships as we do not mean any harm. Being a part of that worship is where he/she is excused under the circumstances of darurat. In truth, in her/his heart he/she maybe doing the dzikir all along.

Of course it is hurtful for the remaining members of the family and friends when they finally learned of the conversion, but if earlier on he/she decides to step up and announce his/her faith and risked being prosecuted, I don't think it is a wise option. It may seem like he/she is a big time liar, hypocrite, etc but really how open can the friends and families be?

Though religions overall encourages respect and love for one another, reality speaking most people are quite touchy when it comes to religion. It is such a sensitive issue. No one is ready to lose out.

Here I feel is the beauty of hidayah. Though we have heard many amazing stories on how people experienced miracles, dreams, visions etc, I still prefer that one can only open up to the beauty of Islam through hidayah. Even marriage is a form of hidayah, don't you think so? Who knows exactly the way Allah chooseth to reach out? Right? You may explain through and through but your listening partner may still not be able to comprehend some things. When you have seen the wonders of Allah's works in your life than you can truly testify. Faith is an ongoing journey. And here I’m reminded of Raihan's infamous nasyid that has lyrics such as "Iman adalah mutiara di dalam hati manusia, ia tak dapat diwarisi" It cannot be inherited, it is a personal encounter.

Just my two cents on the recent happenings. heh. Wow, what a way to end the year! =P

Season's Greetings...

I'm back in Kuching for a week hols. Also on the pretext of visiting my ailing grandmother. She's been under the weather lately, and we feel that her time is near. With her condition, and me having to run up and down settling some stuffs, doesn't leave me much time to spend on blogging nor blog-hopping. So, I'm really lost when it comes to the latest happenings in blogosphere. I do miss getting my daily dosage from some of my favourite blogs. And that also explains why I've not been leaving comments lately. I've not watched TV for over two-months! Luckily my brother remembered to download me Desperate Housewives and I managed to finish Season 1 yesterday. Which reminds me that I should have asked for Everybody Loves Raymond too.

Indeed it is Hari Kek Sedunia. I finished baking 4 cakes today. Here're the pics.

Clockwise from top: Poppy Day Cake (steamed layered cake;coffee+pandan flavoured), Hong Kong Cake (ala-ala kek sarang semut gitu) & Cheese Cake.

Not in the picture: Kek Batik (in the fridge, too lazy to unwrap the foil)

Yesterday made 4 biscuits sahaja; Pineapple Tarts, Cheese Biscuit, Choc Chips Cookies & Seaweed Popiah.

Anyways, to some very dear people, I owe you an email and I shall deliver you the updates as soon as time permits, ok? InsyaAllah...

Have to cut the story short, feast your eyes on the pics. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone.

Busier than a bee...

Sometimes no answer is the best answer...

Some things are better left unsaid...

But curiousity kills doesn't it?

One minute you are fine and decides to take the redha approach and leaves things as it is; but another minute you find yourself climbing up the walls hoping for sanity to kick in. Some people just doesn't realised how much good can a good explanation brings. Misunderstandings cleared. Fury calmed. Ponderings subsided. Sleepless nights ended.

If only he knew. If only he understands. I know he does but why all these now...?

Digging up the past wif N last night knocked some sense back into me; which is qada' and qadar are definite. True enough istikharah is the final say from HIM, but (I know there should not be a 'but') I also feel that I can still wish and hope and the least is performed the solat hajat earnestly for HIS continuous involvement in my life.

Maybe because HE has been very gracious and I've seen the wonders of HIS works that makes me continuously pinning hope for HIS intervention..., somehow, somewhere...

First love is the deepest people say; dan cinta juga tidak semestinya bersatu. My heart reached out for dear friends in tight knots. Namun semua ini mematangkan kita, kan?

Well enough of that. During the weekend till Wednesday, I was nursing N in her home. Her parents were away. Saya lah cook, saya lah nurse, saya lah doctor, saya lah chaffeur, saya lah bibik, saya lah kawan mengadu... heheheee... She was down with quite a bad tonsil and fever. Sian kawan kesayangan aku nieh. Saturday she got a lil better so we decided to beronggeng to Alexis, Bangsar. Itu pun setelah melayangkan $$$ di MPH. Long story short, she got worst pulak the next morning. Thank God she got well in time for her birthday on the 15th.

Her first birthday text came in from me of course at 11.59pm... heheheee... padahal we were sitting facing each other over a late supper. Her first birthday call of course la from her sayang... Sembang and sembang some more pouring our hearts out till our eyes can barely open.

On the 15th itself met up with H for a birthday lunch with N. N had to work so H and I met Y for some Xmas shopping. We were on shopping spree from 2pm till 8pm. That's crazy ay! Or not crazy enough? heheeee... gurls!

Yesterday had a visit from Kak Mi and children. Temankan dorang la berjalan-jalan lagi.

Today is also another long day. Banyak giler keja nieh. Dah lah nak start bercuti panjang esok, pening den. Summarization sahaja nieh.

But there was one morning we had breakfast with N's dad. N had roti kosong with some castor sugar. Old memories rushing in. The first time I heard someone taking his roti with sugar; I mati-mati said it is too peculiar. But he was defending it so passionately that I was smiling all the way thru his explanation (all because of some roti). Thank God it was a phone conversation. Thing is, don't you just love listening to someone narrating about their favourite dish with such enthusiasm. I think it's so cute. Don't you?

Spooky encounter...

There's an upcoming Entrepreneur Course to be held in one of the leading hotel in town. RM50 for a five-hour course inclusive of meals. Very interesting indeed and if we decide to go for it, will do a post about it la.

Check this out too.

Perdana Global Peace Forum 15-17, December, 2005. Venue:PWTC.

Participation is via invitation only. So you gotta get yourself registered first. Look at the speakers! Well, what the heck, no harm, try je la kan?

Back to the main story of the day aite. Dah lah malam nieh malam Jumaat some more. And am now suffering from a bad tummy ache, gara-gara nasi lemak for lunch! hhmmm... what happened was...

Incident One

I was watching Friends on TV last Tuesday night. K arrived home just as soon as I was about to switch the TV off. Sembang jap and excused myself to bed.

The next day over breakfast, K asked where's my 'friend'?

"huh? What friend?"

K went pale for a moment. Then he related the incident to all of us. K said that the night before as he parked his bike at the porch he noticed a figure in jeans running up the stairs as I switched off the TV. He thought my 'friend' was shy so he didn't asked much. K ended his story by saying, "malam nie baca Yassin mak"

We all tergelak la then I was also speechless la.

Incident Two

Yesterday evening I was chatting on the phone with N downstairs. Mak Aji thought I was in the room so she knocks and not having any responses from 'me' she tried opening the door knob. Alas, it was locked.

As Mak Aji turned her back, I approached her from behind. She was almost shocked to death, I bet.

"Awak kat bawah ke dari tadi. Mak Aji ingat awak kat bilik?"

"Awat nya Mak Aji?"

"Awat pintu bilik awak kunci?"

I felt my heart dropped down next to the pancreas! I braved myself to open the door and jump two steps backward. Takut seh. Nothing in the room.

Uuwwwaaaaaa... how to sleep alone like this!

After the Maghrib prayers I was reciting Kursi n Yassin over and over again. Texted Yati and she accompanied me last night.

Tonight how la???

Uuuwwwaaaaaaaaa...

Things happens...

I am so, so happy to be able to blog today. The past week has been very tiring. Bukan apa pun, we had a kenduri kesyukuran on Saturday. I stayed over night at the host house since Friday to help out in the cooking.

Learned to make kuih kasui and lopes. Heavenly. Of course besides that we have kuih bakar, kuih lapis, and serawa durian. I was indeed privileged to have learned from a sifu. Main dishes were nasi kuning, daging dendeng, chicken curry, serunding, sambal ikan goreng, macaroni, belacan+ulaman, I can't recall what else. Anyways, H and I had three hefty rounds. The kenduri was meant to celebrate a good fren of ours, N and her cousin as they've finished their studies.

During the day we spent time in Petaling Street and KLCC as a friend of ours was down in KL. We took a late dinner in Kg.Baru. Mahal nak mampus. Makan apa je, white rice, kerang bakar, ikan tiga rasa, kailan, sup ekor, udang masak sambal and telur dadar and fruit juices. Meal for three cost us RM52. It's purely cekik darah considering the location and amount of food we ordered. Baik la gi German Pub makan. Lagi puas hati.

I thought I'd ended the week with a perfect Sunday, unfortunately before the day ends, I got into a tight hitch. This is what happens when one party doesn't bother to communicate his message across. When misunderstandings happens it is very exasperating. What ever it is, I believe things happened for a reason. Redha is the word.

The end of this week ada plan nak berkaraoke. Orite dak? heheheee...

Thru another acquaintance we were offered a booth for a charity sale. Certain percentage of profit will go towards charitable trust. Thing is, it is such a last minute thing that we have to figure ways of getting supplies before agreeing. Tengah dok plan-plan la nieh. The pool are all the mak-mak datin so takkan nak bagi merchandises yang cokia plak kan. Tengok la dulu camna, insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki tak ke mana.

Whether your spirit is soaring high up in the sky of glee or deep down the valley of grief; it is all within the mind-set. Qada' and qadar, yes; but efforts and prayers makes all the differences in the world as well.