Mid-Year Reflections...

Nearly half the year will be gone soon. Each year carries its own recollections.

2006. I had some enjoyable and extended new friendship ties tremendously. To share, to give and love and be loved and cared for in return. Feelings reciprocated are heartening to the soul and mind.

I gained back some things that had gone astray. In which I am reminded that I have so much to be thankful instead of lamenting on one thing I cannot gain. You lost some, you get some.

I was taught that failure is part of the package when I 'signed up' to be in this world. I learnt to give up on things that were not meant to be mine. I became mindful that balance is made up of accomplishment and letdowns. It takes both the sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.

Patience is virtue. I discover that. And some things were not meant to be said. Silence is golden. Sometimes.

We are to live the present and leave the past. Benda yang lepas jangan dikenang, masa hadapan jangan disia. Right?

hhmmm... are melamine wares microwavable? =P

Looking forward to this long break and the events that follow, kicking off Thusday night!

Happy Teacher's Day

I had quite a time with the students today.

**sidenote: Al-Fatihah untuk arwah Emy. Her presence wil be missed.

Post Mother's Day

This year's Mother's Day is celebrated at a splendid scale with some family friends. We had dinner at one of the local seafood restaurant last night. There were 23 person present, spouses and children. My Bro texted and called Mum later in the evening and sent Mum beaming coz he remembered.

I'm gonna bake my Mum belated Mother's Day muffins tomorrow, insyaAllah. The weekend was packed with our own list of items and this year I didn't get her any gift. Tak sempat nak cari. So, holding that thought, I paid for our share of last night's dinner. Mum had requested for her favourite Banana & Walnut muffins. Minus frostings. Will only put frostings on the Double Choc muffins. Yummy! So rugi no digi camera yet. Haven't got the time to scout for any.

I've shopped and tailored a few materials. Raya too soon ay. I'm still contemplating whether to save any of it for Raya or will shop for some ready made jubah this year. I am always excited come any festive seasons. A Malaysian at heart. =P

Last week's usrah met Kak Min. What a small world. She's doing her J-Qaf at the moment. I've just realized that, if not teachers, members of the group would be housewives doing their own business. Typical scenario? Most of them are teachers and also having small scale business as side income too. For a tudung and kain freak like me suka amat lah dah tahu mana boleh dapat stock. I don't really go for jewelries, bags or shoes (I do but they come next to nothing) and am rambang mata when it comes to tudung and kain. *sigh* Kronik!

Tomorrow is Teacher's Day! =D

Cater 2 You

Been a long time since I heard this song. The song's sexy kan? And they are hot. =D

My shoes are here but I can't go and collect them. There's no car available in the morning, and by the time I finish teaching they'd be closed. Or they’re not. Maybe I'll try to merajinkan diri later. Tomorrow's a public holiday anyway.

I don't really like Shakira but her latest Hips Don't Lie, oh, I'm in love with the song. And her body is so... How I wish I can... heheheee... see, belly dancing is something my friends and I've been talking about for some time but unless we're gonna organized one at home, there's no way it's ever gonna be realized. Perhaps we will do it soon. hahaa...

Time does heal. Old ties are rekindled. Reminded that I have principles to adhere to. Insult is something you'd need a whole lot of strength to let pass by. I may have a soft spot, but I'm stubborn and unyielding all the same. Depending on circumstances of course.

I've been postponing cooking sambal tumis for over a week dah. Simply because it's my Mum who prepares dinner, and my lunch is prepared in advance or I'll keep it simple. Partly because I think I'd be the only one enjoying it. Oh, I can send some to my aunt's place.

Yesterday the discipline board had a meeting. In the capacity as a form teacher I am automatically in the committee too. The newspapers lately have been publishing lots of articles, letters to the editor, with regards to the country's education system, teachers' disciplinary rights, etc. One point I gathered at the meeting that's so true is every time a student is expelled, we failed in our profession. We fall short to see to our amanah. We can talk till the cows come home and we're still not done.

Yesterday, I managed to 'save' a student of mine. He had been suspended once, and though rowdy personally I feel he's quite a respectful boy. So to charge him with an accusation that would result in him being suspended again is something I can't bear. I slyly told the 'prosecutor' I'd take the matters into my hand and confronted the Afternoon Supervisor (hehe...); of course earlier on I had asked the student what actually happened. He related to me the incident and I understood why he did what he did.

Thing is, like I've said this school population is 95% Chinese. Most of the students are boisterous and can't master Bahasa Melayu, and unable to defend themselves. So yesterday, I was talking to the boy in my Mum’s dialect which is Hakka. My heart reaches out to this group of boys sometimes. There are those who are bad, but if they're being advised and told properly I'm sure they'd improved. Thing is when they go and see the Admins and interrogation begins, they converse in Bahasa Melayu whereby it's like finding a needle in a stack of hay, mencurah air atas daun keladi.

As I type this, and think what happened yesterday, I really wish I'd be able to make use of my minimal knowledge of the various Chinese dialects to communicate with these unfortunate students. To be posted to the right school. To cater to the needs.

Today is another day...

It's raining cats and dogs!

Such a gloomy day outside.

The sky's dark. The wind's howling. Scary.

I have no idea on what to get for Mother's Day. Moments like this I miss Bro's presence. Every year during special occasions, both of us would share the expenses and ideas on what to get for our parents. He remembers mine and I remember his. =)

Thought of asking Lin if their place has any special arrangements for Mother's Day.

Another day in school today. At least the pouring rain would hinder any intentions of truancy. =P

It's A Small World Afterall

It's a small world we lived in. Somehow, people you've only merely shared a nod with in the past turns out to be the people you'll be working closely to. Someone you knew is also suddenly your friend's friend partner. You found out one of the blog you frequent is a close friend to a good friend of yours too.

Though getting to know just merely a handful of people can seem to be quite an adventure for me in the past. That's another episode altogether. Still is now but I take them on a good stride. Can cut the chase. The cat is after all out of the bag dah, kan?

I remember one particular complain I made to Nani about bumping into people from my hometown. Yeah, excessive surge. Someone, somewhere, at the oddest location, there's bound to be at least TWO meetings. Or more. Eg during my last trip there, on my way back, bumped into one of my ex-students at the cashier in Eraman's.

Forget that. It's not that. I'm just amazed with the experiences I've gained during the weekend. Just few days ago, old ties were rekindled. Alhamdulillah. I was again reminded that friends are the ones that makes life worthwhile living. And for them to think of you likewise is really something.

During last Thursday's Forum Perdana, the topic discussed was Kawan atau Teman (Friend or Companion)? Points were taken from the stories about Rasulullah and the sahabat. And on this week's kuliyyah, topics on neighbours were discussed.

"Tidak sempurna iman seseorang sehingga dia mencintai saudaranya sepertimana dia mencintai dirinya sendiri"

Love your neighbour as you love thyself. According to Islam, those classified as neighbours are the 40 houses each to your left and right. Do we even know the neighbour who's situated 5 doors down ours? It was self-reflection time.

We aren't rich nor influential people. But, anywhere possible we try our best to give accordingly. I've received much, and I feel that it is only right I play a part of giving too.

I managed to call Ma last Friday. =) I have deep admiration for this lady.

Sunday spent the day in UNIMAS and meeting a new friend Nh.

Am gonna meet Bn and run some errands before the sch hours starts.

The Feelings I Dread

On normal days I would usually maintain being poised. Lots and lots of patience. There are certain hours of the day that I simply turned into a lioness (?). Tuesday and Wednesday has been hard. Fh as usual pops out the "how was school?" Q & A but I just said everything was ok. I didn't felt like droning about the students and preferred to talk about something else.

I love my job. It's just that sometimes you feel so feeble when you can't reach out to certain students. They just won't listen. They are so stubborn and won't budge from being pigheaded. They are just not interested to study. And I am mad. Mad at them, myself, the system (?). Yes, I know there's nothing much to do now, but such feeling of helplessness sucks.

I had quite a frenzy situation yesterday. I know sometimes I display my annoyance rather openly but when I had student giving me the "aren't you scared the parents would come?" or "I never thought you're that garang" remark; somehow I felt maybe I did went overboard. But I can't just pretend I'm ok with such rabble-rouser. I have a choice of closing one eye and save me from lots of heartache or living and having to feel so ineffective being in the profession. I dread the choices I have to make daily when reprimanding these kind of students. It bugs me the whole night through.

I'm drained inside out daily. I love what I'm doing though. I just pray that all is well.

A Little Mischief

The school organized a prefects' camp during the weekend. I was on the night shift duty on the first day which is Friday and got home at 0130. My shift was supposed to end at 1130. There's an interesting story to it.

The camp was a good opportunity to be closer to the students. I'm teaching 8 out of the 10 Form 1 classes so I knew most of the prefects who are on probation. It was a wonderful experience mingling with them. Missed the old days. I told Fh that coming together with the students at events like this made me realized how much I enjoy being a teacher. To be there, to sit down and chat, melayan peel buruk dorang, sembang with other teachers; as an activity out of the normal working hours is when everybody's letting their hair down.

Back to the story.

It was approaching midnight so I decided to leave too. Then there's these two senior prefects konon-konon nak escort me to my car lah. We sat down, listened to the radio and chat for a while more. Suddenly the both of them said they wanted to go home (most of the students and teachers' house are nearby the school). I said ok. They were shocked as it was like a wish coming true. They wanted to get their handphones. Unfortunately the guard on duty that night was the strict one. Still we braved it. The both of them had to bend hard against the seats of my car. They had to really ducked down to avoid being seen. Lepas. Coming in is another thing later, but still I let the worrisome thought passed. Their houses were less than two mins drive away.

Along the way, they still couldn't believed I can be such a good sport. Am I? heheheee... I merely told them I was a student once myself, so I guess what harm can come out of handphones right?

After mission was accomplished, we headed back to school. I had cold feet but played it cool. I didn't even dare to wave to the guard as I made my entrance. Takut seh. hahahaaa... and I knew in order to avoid suspicion I cannot just drive out again. I had to linger on for at least an hour or two.

After supervising the students to bed, lights off, thank goodness our Students' Affairs Senior Assistant wants to go back, so I trailed her car to the gate. I knew the pakcik guard was eyeing my car suspiciously whilst unlocking the padlock.

It was an adventure nonetheless. A little mischief.

On Saturday, I dropped by the school again to watch the Explorace. The students were pestering me to stay on for the BBQ alas, I already have plans for the evening with the girls. The kids had quite a time teasing me each time I was busy texting on my phone. Fh was at the hospital visiting a friend and has a birthday party to attend later in the evening too. I think ini lah tempoh yang paling lama we've not been talking due to the very long hours put at work.

On Labour's Day, most of Hotlink's user got a bundle of a thousand smses that must be finished by midnight. It was W.A.R. For the record, I spend 594 smses at the stroke of midnight. Nasib baik Fh is not a Hotlink subscriber. heheheee...

I didn't jammed my fingers nor my phone as predicted by some really mean people. heheheee...

Alhamdulillah, I'm back to good terms with Nr now. It meant a whole lot to be talking to her again. We made use of the sms bundle to catch up on stuff we've been missing for over a year. All I can say is I'm very, very thankful to get her friendship back.